Re: movies
Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2018 4:09 pm
DAY #29
(Don't worry, only another two days of this nonsense to go)
WEREWOLVES ON WHEELS
(1971)
If I learned anything from Werewolves on Wheels (surely a contender for the best film title ever) is that being a biker in the early 1970s was clearly HILARIOUS. When the gang aren't beating up rednecks, stealing gas, or having dusty, greasy sex with each other, they pass the time by laughing at absolutely everything everywhere. Look, a gas pump! HA HA HA!! Hey, a tree! HAAAAAA!!! Beer!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! SATANISTS IN ROBES!!! WOOOOO!! HAHAHAHA!
And so on and so forth.
After stumbling across a satanic cult holed up in a suitably EVIL CHURCH, the cult send the bikers to sleep using drugged bread and wine, but not before possessing one of the female members and turning her into a werewolf.
Next morning the gang walk into the EVIL CHURCH, beat up all the satanists, and are all quickly giggling and guffawing like children again. However, the laughter finally stops when they discover two of their friends have been savaged by something bitey.
Soon enough though, everyone's laughing again. Well, everyone with the exception of their hippiest member, Tarot. See, Tarot's figured out something's not quite right and in some wonderful 1970s hippy-speak, tries to warn their leader, Adam, about it: "That was no accident. It was heavy. Somebody's controlling the vibes".
[translation needed]
Adam's having none of it though and the laughter quickly turns to fisticuffs. Fisticuffs turn into a serious kicking, and then a serious kicking quickly escalates into a fireside werewolf battle before the remaining gang members decide to go back to the EVIL CHURCH and kill the cultists.
ONLY THE CULTISTS ARE ACTUALLY THEMSELVES. Fuck it. It was the '70s. Hallucinogenic drugs were in plentiful supply and endings to Bikersploitaiton films really didn't have to make any sense.
Although severely dated, Werewolves on Wheels is a great little movie, especially with all the werewolves, boobs, and sexy naked snake dancing. It also has the distinction of featuring quite possibly the funniest Satanic ritual ever filmed. After killing a cat and doodling something in blood, cult leader "One" (Severn Darden from Battle for the/Conquest of the Planet of the Apes), ad-libs the ritual like a fucking boss, mumbling something along the lines of "rabadabadabadadamabarambarambararararabbabadada" and just hoping for the best. The thing is, being the early '70s, he probably got away with it.
The soundtrack is excellent, some moody guitar based country for the title theme with a couple of other similar tracks along the way. And whether it's a recommendation or not, Rob Zombie clearly loves this film so much that he used a line of dialogue at the start of his song, Sick Bubblegum.
"Hey, we all know how we're gonna die, baby. We're gonna crash and burn".
6.5/10
(Don't worry, only another two days of this nonsense to go)
WEREWOLVES ON WHEELS
(1971)
If I learned anything from Werewolves on Wheels (surely a contender for the best film title ever) is that being a biker in the early 1970s was clearly HILARIOUS. When the gang aren't beating up rednecks, stealing gas, or having dusty, greasy sex with each other, they pass the time by laughing at absolutely everything everywhere. Look, a gas pump! HA HA HA!! Hey, a tree! HAAAAAA!!! Beer!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! SATANISTS IN ROBES!!! WOOOOO!! HAHAHAHA!
And so on and so forth.
After stumbling across a satanic cult holed up in a suitably EVIL CHURCH, the cult send the bikers to sleep using drugged bread and wine, but not before possessing one of the female members and turning her into a werewolf.
Next morning the gang walk into the EVIL CHURCH, beat up all the satanists, and are all quickly giggling and guffawing like children again. However, the laughter finally stops when they discover two of their friends have been savaged by something bitey.
Soon enough though, everyone's laughing again. Well, everyone with the exception of their hippiest member, Tarot. See, Tarot's figured out something's not quite right and in some wonderful 1970s hippy-speak, tries to warn their leader, Adam, about it: "That was no accident. It was heavy. Somebody's controlling the vibes".
[translation needed]
Adam's having none of it though and the laughter quickly turns to fisticuffs. Fisticuffs turn into a serious kicking, and then a serious kicking quickly escalates into a fireside werewolf battle before the remaining gang members decide to go back to the EVIL CHURCH and kill the cultists.
ONLY THE CULTISTS ARE ACTUALLY THEMSELVES. Fuck it. It was the '70s. Hallucinogenic drugs were in plentiful supply and endings to Bikersploitaiton films really didn't have to make any sense.
Although severely dated, Werewolves on Wheels is a great little movie, especially with all the werewolves, boobs, and sexy naked snake dancing. It also has the distinction of featuring quite possibly the funniest Satanic ritual ever filmed. After killing a cat and doodling something in blood, cult leader "One" (Severn Darden from Battle for the/Conquest of the Planet of the Apes), ad-libs the ritual like a fucking boss, mumbling something along the lines of "rabadabadabadadamabarambarambararararabbabadada" and just hoping for the best. The thing is, being the early '70s, he probably got away with it.
The soundtrack is excellent, some moody guitar based country for the title theme with a couple of other similar tracks along the way. And whether it's a recommendation or not, Rob Zombie clearly loves this film so much that he used a line of dialogue at the start of his song, Sick Bubblegum.
"Hey, we all know how we're gonna die, baby. We're gonna crash and burn".
6.5/10