The Relationships Thread
- VirginInvader
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Re: The Relationships Thread
I'm starting to get the feeling that a female friend I ran into at the pub last night for the first time in ages wants to be more than friends. Which is pretty awkward, if mildly amusing as this sort of thing almost always work the other way round Pretty ironic in a way too, as a few months ago I might have actually been interested.
Seven Sisters - Proper Heavy Metal from London Town. Upcoming shows:
23/05 - Heavy Sound Festival, Poperinge, Belgium
18/07- Metalbrew, London
01/08 - The Black Heart, London
29/08- No Sleep 'Til Dublin
23/05 - Heavy Sound Festival, Poperinge, Belgium
18/07- Metalbrew, London
01/08 - The Black Heart, London
29/08- No Sleep 'Til Dublin
- TheLotusEater193
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Re: The Relationships Thread
jackcake wrote:I'm shy because I can't talk, rather than the other way around if that makes sense. Little comes to mind and I can't put thoughts into words*. It's hard enough talking to people I know - even girlfriends struggled to get much conversation out of me - let alone talking to strangers.
* It took me half an hour to write this.
Once again, i'm pretty much the same as this. Although I don't fuss over things on the internet like that, I really only worry about face to face conversations.
- HollyTheHeadbanger
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Re: The Relationships Thread
I'm either really chatty or just sit back and watch/listen, so sometimes come across as an arrogant fuck... when I actually just don't feel like talking/have anything of relevance to say at the moment in time. It really does depend on the company, but yeah. I've no problems with my confidence and my people-skills have increased loads since I started my job. It's all very one on one, and serving a customer can take a while... and I've had some of the best conversations ever with complete strangers.
Re: The Relationships Thread
Nantha wrote:put me in a room with a load of 'normal' people
If there is one thing I always try to avoid, especially in the company of people who have similar interests it's discussing my own. I can't stand those "metal" conversations you have with likewise "metal" people, they are always so boring and repetitive. It seems as if the only time anyone ever brings the subject up - especially in the presence of someone they don't know very well is to try and kick off a game of subtle oneupmanship. It's the same with people who class themselves as "musicians". More commonly with the latter the people who bring it up most are the ones with no actual clue what they are on about, people who actually understand the subject tend to stay pretty quiet about it.
The friends I've made through here are the only "metal" people I've ever really sought out, by and large I find I'm way happier just talking to a few normal people that arn't all wrapped up their little subculture. Or at least when they are it's a different one to mine.
I used to have a link to a social networking site here but these days you all probably already know who I am.
Re: The Relationships Thread
I understand where Steve's coming from here. I'm not the world's most chatty bloke. It's rare that I can get the that point of comfort and ease where I can become a sarcastic git and relax. Then again, I'm of the opinion that silence isn't a bad thing, and I tend to prefer to listen to the life story of other people. You never know what you might learn just by keeping your mouth shut, and the tendency to offend decreases by a heavy margin. The only time my patience runs a little short is if the subject is mostly drugs or football, of which I don't have enough passing interest to continue listening to.
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Re: The Relationships Thread
I was at a friends house a while ago and sober, and there were several people I didn't know there.
One girl kept coming out with the most stupid retarded shit I have ever heard in my life, for example, we were playing the 'name game' and someone would ask her to name a Prime minister and she couldn't name a single one.
Every time she came out with something thick, everyone else either didn't realise (because they wern't so bright either) or laughed because it was 'cute'. I tried to correct her a few times in polite gesture but in the end I felt myself getting so angry I just had to make my excuses and leave. I came to the conclusion that day that I am just generally not very tolerant of stupid people, and just can't get along with them at all.
One girl kept coming out with the most stupid retarded shit I have ever heard in my life, for example, we were playing the 'name game' and someone would ask her to name a Prime minister and she couldn't name a single one.
Every time she came out with something thick, everyone else either didn't realise (because they wern't so bright either) or laughed because it was 'cute'. I tried to correct her a few times in polite gesture but in the end I felt myself getting so angry I just had to make my excuses and leave. I came to the conclusion that day that I am just generally not very tolerant of stupid people, and just can't get along with them at all.
- VirginInvader
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Re: The Relationships Thread
V-Man wrote:Nantha wrote:put me in a room with a load of 'normal' people
If there is one thing I always try to avoid, especially in the company of people who have similar interests it's discussing my own. I can't stand those "metal" conversations you have with likewise "metal" people, they are always so boring and repetitive. It seems as if the only time anyone ever brings the subject up - especially in the presence of someone they don't know very well is to try and kick off a game of subtle oneupmanship. It's the same with people who class themselves as "musicians". More commonly with the latter the people who bring it up most are the ones with no actual clue what they are on about, people who actually understand the subject tend to stay pretty quiet about it.
The friends I've made through here are the only "metal" people I've ever really sought out, by and large I find I'm way happier just talking to a few normal people that arn't all wrapped up their little subculture. Or at least when they are it's a different one to mine.
Yeah I hear you on that man. I hate that term "normal people" too. Am I somehow not a regular bloke because I listen to the odd bit of metal? Fuck that like. I hate talking about music with anybody anyhow, whether they like metal or not. Every other sentence is "yeah I only liked their demo" or "have you heard <shitty obscure band that recorded two songs in their garage and released them on a limited run of 4 cassettes>". It's fucking ridiculous. I go out of my way to avoid having a discussion about music unless I'm really stuck for topics. Give me a nice chinwag about fucking, fighting or footie any day
Seven Sisters - Proper Heavy Metal from London Town. Upcoming shows:
23/05 - Heavy Sound Festival, Poperinge, Belgium
18/07- Metalbrew, London
01/08 - The Black Heart, London
29/08- No Sleep 'Til Dublin
23/05 - Heavy Sound Festival, Poperinge, Belgium
18/07- Metalbrew, London
01/08 - The Black Heart, London
29/08- No Sleep 'Til Dublin
- Littlemissmetal
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Re: The Relationships Thread
Nantha wrote:I came to the conclusion that day that I am just generally not very tolerant of stupid people, and just can't get along with them at all.
I think you can conclude from this that you're probably pretty normal - most people are riled by stupidity, whether they admit it is another thing entirely though!
I take Tim's point too actually - sometimes it's much more interesting to talk to people about something other than common interests, and music tends to be an irritating topic for all those reasons Graeme pointed out - too many people seem to view it in terms of "right and wrong" rather than different tastes - there's nothing more infuriatingly pointless for me than arguing about music.
I really enjoy learning and you never know what new subject someone may bring up in the course of conversation if you steer clear of those subjects.
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Re: The Relationships Thread
I've talked to my fair share of folks I don't really have much in common with and I can safely say I prefer chatting to those whom I do.
Usually because it goes something like 'So where did you go to uni?' (safe answer) 'What did you study?' (moderately safe answer) and then 'oh so what music do you like' (met with either a smirk or blank face), and 'where do you go out at night' (met with absolute horror)
I remember explaining to a girl at work once that the blister on my hand was from pole dancing and she looked like she was about to keel over. When I do talk to 'normal' people nowadays I tend to leave out a fair chunk of personality and interests because for someone that doesn't know about things like metal, modelling and whatever else, I am seen as a slut of Satan.
The one thing I thought I could talk to the average British person about was Eastenders, nope, I think I'm the only person that watches it
Usually because it goes something like 'So where did you go to uni?' (safe answer) 'What did you study?' (moderately safe answer) and then 'oh so what music do you like' (met with either a smirk or blank face), and 'where do you go out at night' (met with absolute horror)
I remember explaining to a girl at work once that the blister on my hand was from pole dancing and she looked like she was about to keel over. When I do talk to 'normal' people nowadays I tend to leave out a fair chunk of personality and interests because for someone that doesn't know about things like metal, modelling and whatever else, I am seen as a slut of Satan.
The one thing I thought I could talk to the average British person about was Eastenders, nope, I think I'm the only person that watches it
- Slayer-ov-orcs
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Re: The Relationships Thread
Man two people I know have been flirting over facebook for about 3 months now, it's pissing me off.
Feel free to add me on last.fm http://www.last.fm/user/Slayer-ov-orcs
Re: The Relationships Thread
VirginInvader wrote:V-Man wrote:Nantha wrote:put me in a room with a load of 'normal' people
If there is one thing I always try to avoid, especially in the company of people who have similar interests it's discussing my own. I can't stand those "metal" conversations you have with likewise "metal" people, they are always so boring and repetitive. It seems as if the only time anyone ever brings the subject up - especially in the presence of someone they don't know very well is to try and kick off a game of subtle oneupmanship. It's the same with people who class themselves as "musicians". More commonly with the latter the people who bring it up most are the ones with no actual clue what they are on about, people who actually understand the subject tend to stay pretty quiet about it.
The friends I've made through here are the only "metal" people I've ever really sought out, by and large I find I'm way happier just talking to a few normal people that arn't all wrapped up their little subculture. Or at least when they are it's a different one to mine.
Yeah I hear you on that man. I hate that term "normal people" too. Am I somehow not a regular bloke because I listen to the odd bit of metal? Fuck that like. I hate talking about music with anybody anyhow, whether they like metal or not. Every other sentence is "yeah I only liked their demo" or "have you heard <shitty obscure band that recorded two songs in their garage and released them on a limited run of 4 cassettes>". It's fucking ridiculous. I go out of my way to avoid having a discussion about music unless I'm really stuck for topics. Give me a nice chinwag about fucking, fighting or footie any day
Bloody this! I know loads of people into similar music and rarely talk about music with them. I will sometimes stretch to 'So who do you think will headline Bloodstock? or who was highlight of weekend? '
No idea what I actually talk to people about, but seem to always have something to laugh about and something to say.
I have always kept personal life away from people I work with professionally, unless they are part of it. I remember asking my manager to leave early one night to go to a gig, she was asking me loads of questions about it and seemed quite shocked I was part of anything like that 'Will you get headbutted?' After work I changed in the loos and wore what I usually wear and went downstairs to say buy and she looked as though she was going to faint (I don't even dress 'metulz' )
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- i_am_a_viking
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Re: The Relationships Thread
Nantha wrote: When I do talk to 'normal' people nowadays I tend to leave out a fair chunk of personality and interests
I feel I do this too nowadays. Especially when talking about what I do at Uni I feel like 'oh here we go again...' because barely anyone understands what it is. They instantly associate it with buildings and architecture or immediately say "OH LIKE TIME TEAM?!" Then when I do get round to telling them they're either not interested in the slightest or continue to be clueless.
Then again when I don't feel comfortable around folks I do tend to gabble and sometimes my sentences probably don't even make sense haha xD
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Re: The Relationships Thread
i_am_a_viking wrote:Nantha wrote: When I do talk to 'normal' people nowadays I tend to leave out a fair chunk of personality and interests
I feel I do this too nowadays. Especially when talking about what I do at Uni I feel like 'oh here we go again...' because barely anyone understands what it is. They instantly associate it with buildings and architecture or immediately say "OH LIKE TIME TEAM?!" Then when I do get round to telling them they're either not interested in the slightest or continue to be clueless.
Then again when I don't feel comfortable around folks I do tend to gabble and sometimes my sentences probably don't even make sense haha xD
The majority of people are quite interested when I talk about what I studied at uni. When I accepted my offer I expected to have to deal with "Lol what a shite degree. Are you 5 or something?" forever, but most people say it sounds awesome and that they would have done it themselves.
When meeting family friends (like at my mum's wedding etc) or co-worker's partners at company parties, talking about work and 'where-your-life-is-going' tends to be standard. People want to know what you do, who that long-haired Scottish bloke standing next to you is and your career aspirations. I'm assuming that's generic small talk and not just nosiness though.
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Re: The Relationships Thread
Unfortunately I have a hard time talking to most people, regardless of whether or not we have similar interests. Some people I just click with when I've never met them before, but others, even if I know them and have known them for a while I still struggle to hold a conversation with that extends beyond 'how was your week, did you see who was announced for this festival, whats that youre drinking' etc. Alcohol definitely helps though.
Also oddly enough, I find it very hard to chat to people my own age, but when I'm around someone who's much older, say 40+ I find it a lot easier to chat to them. Hence I fairly often have conversations with strangers on the train. One time coming back from York a guy around middle-ageish sat next to me, he commented on the book I was reading and we ended up chatting for the whole four hours about a whole variety of topics.
Also oddly enough, I find it very hard to chat to people my own age, but when I'm around someone who's much older, say 40+ I find it a lot easier to chat to them. Hence I fairly often have conversations with strangers on the train. One time coming back from York a guy around middle-ageish sat next to me, he commented on the book I was reading and we ended up chatting for the whole four hours about a whole variety of topics.
Re: The Relationships Thread
VirginInvader wrote:I hate talking about music with anybody anyhow
;_;