Watching RAW live (when will I learn?).
Massive hype for Daniel Bryan, awesome "You deserve it" chant.
Triple H and Steph because despite beating him at Wrestlemania and going on to win the title, this feud isn't going away yet.
Ugh, Triple H vs Bryan for the title in the main event.
Ad break. Yeah, I know, FOX8, The Tomorrow People is a thing. Stop reminding me, I'm trying to forget.
Ah, Batista sticking his nose in. Oh and Orton too. "I have a rematch clause, wah wah wah". Fuck off you smug cunt, your tattoos are shit.
Oh fucking fuck right off. Orton and Batista vs The Usos for the tag titles? What? Who even wants to see that?
Wyatts in action tonight.. Against Cena, Sheamus and Big E. Really? Just.. what?
By the way, the title card for RAW in Australia is Randy Orton and AJ Lee on a black screen next to the FOX8 logo and the words "WWE RAW". When FOX8 go back too early, we get to look at that for a while. I wouldn't mind, but it's a full body shot of Orton and AJ is tucked behind a graphic
Why is this match even happening? Wyatts win or we riot. I like Sheamus but Big E is boring as shit, and Supercena had his win last night.
Oh, another ad break..
I'll let this one slide as it's started with a mash-up ad, showing off the stars of their hit shows, which itself started with Rachel Bilson rubbing ice on her cleavage.
Took me all ad break to find that.
I can only hope that the Wyatt/Cena feud will continue for a while longer. I just don't see the sense in dragging Sheamus and Big E into it. Other than they're both "strong men" like Cena.
Sheamus vs Rowan, battle of the gingers.
What the fuck is this visual mix doing?? They just cut to Bray at ringside when Sheamus took out Harper, then cut to Harper on the floor as Rowan clotheslined Sheamus! Knobs.
Bray's spider walk thing never gets less creepy. I forgot to say in my Wrestlemania recap last night that my favourite part of the Cena/Bray match was when Cena was going to hit the five knuckle shuffle (I recently learned that's a euphemism for wanking, by the way) only to turn around to Bray up on all fours.
Oh fuck off, Slam City.
Ad break. The dog's farted and FOX8 are advertising some shit called Starcrossed. Looks like a gayer Romeo & Juliet with aliens or some shit. Do not want.
Fandingo and Summer Rae vs Emma and Santino in another mixed tag team match. Can we make this feud go somewhere please? Emma make out with Summer Rae or something?
At least these matches are quick, I guess. And I do love the awkward clumsy relationship with Emma and Santino.
Ultimate Warrior DVD ad. Saw that in a store the other day. Not sure if want. Probably don't, because I never saw any of his matches. But then he's also got a fair bit of dirt on them, hasn't he? Although they wouldn't show that much detail as it's their DVD..
OH HEY AN AD BREAK.
Cock Plebsnar and Paul Gayman coming out. LOL THEY FUCKED UP HIS PYRO.
Soak it in, you smug cunts, go on.
NO YOU CAN'T JOIN IN MAKING FUN OF HOGAN. SHUT UP PAUL. Seriously why is this prick still talking? Go away.
Haha, #ThankYouTaker just appeared in the corner.
This has gone on long enough, can we have an interruption now please? It's actually boring now.
Really? Nothing? What was the point in any of that? I bet it'll cut to ads now. What a fucking waste of time.
Oh hey, an ad break, who'd have thunk it?
Back to the tag team match, then.. Boos and silence from the crowd for Batista's entrance. Same for Orton. Can the writers not see that NOBODY WANTS TO SEE THIS?
Really hoping the Usos wipe the floor with Orton and Batista here.
Oh a count out. Bleh.
The Usos don't really deserve that. They're well liked by the crowd, and if they want to establish Batista and Orton as heels then they don't need to do anything, everyone hates them anyway.
Now ads again.
Oh shit, hey Rob Van Dam. Gonna kick Sandow in the face? Cool.
So this'll be the "return" they teased in that video, then.
Oh hey, another return, Bad News Barrett!
Also there's a dude sat in the front row in Sting makeup, he's not smiled or anything all night.
In fact I think there's a few people in Sting makeup tonight. Certainly a few signs too. Could make for a good ending tonight, actually. (But it won't)
Nice one, Barrett.
Rusev debuting tonight. Called it. Also awkward failure to cut away from the commentators there. Classy.
Give you a clue, it's like AIDS but I don't have it. Yeah, ads. Sorry.
Aw fuck, I dropped a deuce earlier and had RAW on live pause, so I could fast forward a few ad breaks. I'm now back to live.
Adam Rose? The fuck is he? Is he meant to be some comedy value faux rockstar type? We'll be getting these promos regularly for the next few months, then..
Rusev/Ryder next. I don't actually care.. Nor does Sting guy.
Haha, "USA!" chants. Somebody call Rocky Balboa.
Meh, at least that match was quick.
Hall of Fame recap. I skipped this very montage when watching Wrestlemania last night. Still need to finish watching it, actually. Only had time to see Lita and Jake The Snake.
Ads. I'm hungry. I could pause this and get some food and then potentially skip the next few ad breaks. Yeah. Let's do that.
Ultimate Warrior speech was cool but felt a bit too much like an advert for Hall of Fame airing after RAW in 'mericuhh.
Ads. YEAH I CAN FAST FORWARD NOW. For those who care I had a salad. It was good.
AJ and Tamina in the ring to talk about AJ's win.
Ooh, Paige interruption. Hello. From Norwich you say? I knew moving there after this year in Aus was going to be a good idea.
OH WHAT? TITLE MATCH? I love AJ but fuck this will be funny if she loses.
Oh, what's that, ads? SORRY I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER MY FAST FORWARDING.
What is this "Bolieve"? Who are you?
Ha, Mum just saw Hulk Hogan and briefly got interested when she thought he was still wrestling. Sorry Mum.
WHAT. CESARO DITCHES ZEB FOR PAUL? Fuuuuck. We have to listen to that cunt again? Ugh.
OH SWAGGER. You suck.
Suddenly everything's going by fast. I must be skipping the ad break again.
Actually, while I've got a sec. Is Total Divas worth watching?
So what's this now? Are we having a Cesaro vs Swagger match now? Can't say I'm fussed. I just want Paul Heyman off my TV. His face makes me uncomfortable.
Disappointing end, we've already had a count out DQ tonight.
Ooh you cunts, Shield Vs Wyatts on Main Event tomorrow night! I'll have to give that a cheeky acquisition.
And then I'll have to make a Main Event folder.
Ooh you cunts.
Yes, yes, I know, HOF after RAW in America. Shush.
Back to live feed again.
I'm glad they're sticking with the Shield against The Authority angle. No doubt have Batista, Orton & Kane vs The Shield next Monday. Maybe add Triple H and Daniel Bryan in there for an 8-man tag match?
Alright RAW. Expected more.