What's upset you?

Put the world to rights here (off-topic discussion)
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Green Man
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Re: What's upset you?

Postby Green Man » Tue Jul 03, 2012 9:24 pm

Ndnd wrote:Just rang my Nan and she has deteriorated mentally quite a bit. What is worse is that I only lasted 30 mins of having the same questions asked before I felt exhausted and made my excuses.

I am feeling really vile and guilty right now.


Add one to the sad people club. My father is in a nursing home now. If I'm lucky I get maybe one minute of conversation when I first wake him up and then for the rest of the visit it's just helping him get back and forth in and around the home because he doesn't know what he wants to do or where he wants to go. And he's worse every time I see him.


Add to these troubles is the occasional phone call from the rest of my indifferent immediate family that just reminds me of the crap that has gone on our whole lives.


But what's really has me down now is finding out that my place of employment for the past 7 years is wrapping up, potentially ending my nearly 10 years of steady employment if I don't find something before the termination notice ends. What's also sad is just going into work still with the dampened spirits of my co-workers.

So, I know my Dad is surely passing away and I know the job I've been enjoying is surely passing away.


But thanks to this thread I have a place to dump this.

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Re: What's upset you?

Postby Ndnd » Wed Jul 04, 2012 6:49 am

Green Man wrote:
Ndnd wrote:Just rang my Nan and she has deteriorated mentally quite a bit. What is worse is that I only lasted 30 mins of having the same questions asked before I felt exhausted and made my excuses.

I am feeling really vile and guilty right now.


Add one to the sad people club. My father is in a nursing home now. If I'm lucky I get maybe one minute of conversation when I first wake him up and then for the rest of the visit it's just helping him get back and forth in and around the home because he doesn't know what he wants to do or where he wants to go. And he's worse every time I see him.


Add to these troubles is the occasional phone call from the rest of my indifferent immediate family that just reminds me of the crap that has gone on our whole lives.


But what's really has me down now is finding out that my place of employment for the past 7 years is wrapping up, potentially ending my nearly 10 years of steady employment if I don't find something before the termination notice ends. What's also sad is just going into work still with the dampened spirits of my co-workers.

So, I know my Dad is surely passing away and I know the job I've been enjoying is surely passing away.


But thanks to this thread I have a place to dump this.

Sorry to hear that :( Sounds like you are going through a tough time at the moment.

I remember how low I felt when I got made redundant, I use to absolutely love my old job, and the people I worked with were class! I was one of the first people in my uni course to yet to get a job and lost it a year or so later as I was new and it really knocked my confidence.

What sort of thing do you do? Are you looking at going into something similar?

My confidence was knocked quite bad after I got made redundant and funnily enough it was not until this week that I have started looking for a job in what I'm actually qualified in. I have been working since then doing various things and have enjoyed all of the jobs - especially the one I have now, it's basically my job to drink wine! Yet I really loved doing what I did before so going to try and get a job doing that again.

I'm going on and not really making a point. I'm really sorry to hear about your Dad. :cry:
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Re: What's upset you?

Postby Green Man » Wed Jul 04, 2012 11:04 am

Ndnd wrote:What sort of thing do you do? Are you looking at going into something similar?



I'm a Senior Commercial Auto Underwriter. What that means basically is that I make decisions and in some cases manipulate the premium of insurance policies. The tricky bit will be to get something near enough to the same pay. I'd love to transfer over to Commercial Property/Casualty but will then probably need to take a few steps down and get paid a lot less at first.

I loved the little office I worked in (it was an M.G.U. - basically what that means is that we were hired by the brokers to underwrite their files on behalf of a large insurance company). There was little to no office politics. So I'm nervous as hell to what fate awaits me. I know there's a lot of big egos out there and personality conflicts.


As for my Dad, he was in the hospital for months until they found a place in the nursing home. On several occasions we (his long time girlfriend and I) thought he was going to die. But instead what we have is a man who is slowly decaying away and doesn't offer much in terms of company. But I still go see him at least once a week regretting all the time I didn't spend with him before he had his stroke last year.

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Re: What's upset you?

Postby Ndnd » Wed Jul 04, 2012 11:59 am

Yeah, everyone got on really well where I worked before. We use to go out most lunches and quite a bit after work. Where do you work now (location) I guess you find that most your work is based in certain areas around the country.
I use to work for a CRO, basically pharma companies would send us their data and we would manipulate, present it and say whether the drug did what it should do, however they seem to be doing their statistics in house due to the economy. A friend I worked with moved to a pharma after and It's a different atmosphere completely but to be honest I miss doing it so I have my paws crossed I get an interview soon. :)
I think that is why I felt bad about my nan, I know I would feel guilty if anything happened cutting the convo short, my family live 2 hours away but only actually see them a few times a year. I have had about 4 dbl espresso this morning so going to ring soon and just keep nattering at her. :)
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Re: What's upset you?

Postby Green Man » Wed Jul 04, 2012 10:40 pm

Don't beat yourself up too much. It's difficult to deal with old people who are losing it even though we know that one day it may be us in the same position. My brother hasn't even seen my Dad since the stroke he had over a year ago. So the fact that we are visiting them, we should consider them lucky. I have a sad feeling that unless I make lots of young friends and don't out live my wife, I'll end up all alone when I get to that point. So, even if it's just a few minutes, it makes a big difference, I'm sure.


As for work, I had a better day today. The brokers are being very supportive and some have been giving me contact names of people at other companies. Now I just need to the painstaking work of improving my resume as I think it needs more work.

I'm in Canada by the way. I would love to live in the UK and hope to some day but I just need to get myself more financially secure first (and save a heap load of money).

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Re: What's upset you?

Postby Ndnd » Thu Jul 05, 2012 7:09 am

Ironically it wasn't long ago I was thinking about moving somewhere like Quebec to work.
Be warned if you find me at Bloodstock I will probably ask loads of questions about it!

I have never really thought about being alone when I'm older although I imagine it's likely and even a few mins would be nice.

Always good to see people coming from overseas to Bloodstock. How long are you in the UK for?
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Re: What's upset you?

Postby Littlemissmetal » Tue Jul 10, 2012 7:37 pm

Ever had a situation where a close friend is in a really bad way and there isn't a thing you can do? And despite knowing there's nothing you can do, you still feel pretty useless for not doing anything except listen when she needs to vent.

Situation me and the other third of a trio are in. I'm not upset for me, just upset and worried for my friend because her situation seems to have no answer that isn't full of huge pitfalls. I don't recall feeling quite this agitated by inactivity before now - I just somehow want to be able to take her pain away because I hate seeing her this unhappy :(
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Re: What's upset you?

Postby kanet666 » Tue Jul 10, 2012 7:43 pm

Littlemissmetal wrote:Ever had a situation where a close friend is in a really bad way and there isn't a thing you can do? And despite knowing there's nothing you can do, you still feel pretty useless for not doing anything except listen when she needs to vent.

Situation me and the other third of a trio are in. I'm not upset for me, just upset and worried for my friend because her situation seems to have no answer that isn't full of huge pitfalls. I don't recall feeling quite this agitated by inactivity before now - I just somehow want to be able to take her pain away because I hate seeing her this unhappy :(


I know how you feel, you just have to make sure you're there for her, and just having you there will be helping her. :)
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Re: What's upset you?

Postby MetalBeast » Tue Jul 10, 2012 8:21 pm

Littlemissmetal wrote:Ever had a situation where a close friend is in a really bad way and there isn't a thing you can do? And despite knowing there's nothing you can do, you still feel pretty useless for not doing anything except listen when she needs to vent.


Sounds like a horrible situation, but don't underestimate how much of a help you're being by being there to listen when she needs to vent. She's probably really thankful for that.
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Re: What's upset you?

Postby Ndnd » Tue Jul 10, 2012 8:30 pm

Do you remember my friend Habiba who lost her baby ? We all felt useless at time but made it known we were there after she had had space ... met her for coffee a few weeks ago and she said just knowing we were there helped :) hopefully your friend will be the same xx
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Re: What's upset you?

Postby Littlemissmetal » Tue Jul 10, 2012 8:31 pm

Ndnd wrote:Do you remember my friend Habiba who lost her baby ? We all felt useless at time but made it known we were there after she had had space ... met her for coffee a few weeks ago and she said just knowing we were there helped :) hopefully your friend will be the same xx


I remember! How is she doing now? She said last night how much she appreciates me and our other close friend, I just wish I could do more for her you know?

Thanks everyone, you are lovely :hug:
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Re: What's upset you?

Postby TheLotusEater193 » Wed Jul 11, 2012 6:38 pm

My brother just told me we'll be getting my dog put down before the end of the month. I've had pets put down in the past but as I finished school last year and only work evenings I spend pretty much every day with Kate and she's become more my dog than the family dog.

It also sucks because with my last 2 dogs they both got really ill suddenly and we had to make quick decisions about geting them put down. Kate is slowly deteriorating but she still has good days and I can imagine everyone sitting down with her and she'd just think we want to play. It wouldn't feel right getting her put down if she's like that.

Gah, feels so stupid getting so upset over it but I can't stop sobbing :(

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Re: What's upset you?

Postby Littlemissmetal » Wed Jul 11, 2012 7:09 pm

It's not stupid at all, losing a family pet you are close to is always distressing. There's nothing wrong or embarrassing or stupid in crying about it. When we had to put our German Shepherd down when I was 12 (same as your dog, slow deterioration but the vet recommended we make the decision whilst he was still happy rather than let him deteriorate into pain and suffering beforehand) I was absolutely distraught, and it makes me shudder just considering my cat eventually having to be put down.

:hug: don't be so hard on yourself, it's perfectly normal. If you're around I'll give you a proper one on Sunday :)
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Re: What's upset you?

Postby MetalBeast » Wed Jul 11, 2012 7:34 pm

TheLotusEater193 wrote:Gah, feels so stupid getting so upset over it but I can't stop sobbing :(


:hug:

You shouldn't feel stupid for getting upset over what's pretty much a family member, even if they are an animal.
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Re: What's upset you?

Postby Nantha » Wed Jul 11, 2012 8:05 pm

If the animal is happy and playing then surely it isn't in that much pain? I wouldn't be so hasty :(
My cat can barely walk anymore but she still purrs when I stoke her and eats so I figure she's okay.