What's upset you?

Postby **kanet666** » Sat Dec 19, 2015 2:36 pm

Not really "upset" by this, but certainly shocked. Got home from work to find out that my dad moved out today, mum's in bits for obvious reasons, and whilst I understand these things happen, from my point of view this has completely blindsided me, considering I've never seen them so much as argue in 22 years.

I came home for a stressless few weeks before exams and work hits hard, and this really hasn't helped. I just don't know how to react.

Website · Postby **thehairyone** » Sat Dec 19, 2015 5:59 pm

kanet666 wrote:Not really "upset" by this, but certainly shocked. Got home from work to find out that my dad moved out today, mum's in bits for obvious reasons, and whilst I understand these things happen, from my point of view this has completely blindsided me, considering I've never seen them so much as argue in 22 years.

I came home for a stressless few weeks before exams and work hits hard, and this really hasn't helped. I just don't know how to react.

Ahh, shit. This is very similar to what happened at me three years ago. I'm about on FB or the like if you want a chat. I hate to say it but you're in for a very tough time. My sympathies to both you and your mum.

Postby **kanet666** » Sun Dec 20, 2015 9:13 pm

thehairyone wrote:
kanet666 wrote:Not really "upset" by this, but certainly shocked. Got home from work to find out that my dad moved out today, mum's in bits for obvious reasons, and whilst I understand these things happen, from my point of view this has completely blindsided me, considering I've never seen them so much as argue in 22 years.

I came home for a stressless few weeks before exams and work hits hard, and this really hasn't helped. I just don't know how to react.

Ahh, shit. This is very similar to what happened at me three years ago. I'm about on FB or the like if you want a chat. I hate to say it but you're in for a very tough time. My sympathies to both you and your mum.

Thanks for that last night. Dad's moving back in to the sofa tomorrow after talking with mum earlier. From the snippets of info I've heard it seems it is my dad who's just done this out of the blue. Hopefully it sorts itself out one way or another.

Postby **NeglectedField** » Mon Dec 21, 2015 6:38 pm

Great aunt's had either an aneurysm or has a brain tumour. Hate to be selfish by lamenting how it always has to happen around Xmas. Kind of a tradition in this family but there you go.

Postby **Tet** » Tue Dec 22, 2015 2:53 am

keera_envenomed wrote:The words may be similar but the connotations are very different. "Coloured" was the term used during Apartheid and segregation to describe non-white people hence why it causes offense. It's really not that much effort to use a slightly different phrase to not be an arse.

Actually, yes it is. Using the phrase "coloured people" doesn't make me an arse.

Postby **Aerosol_Kid** » Tue Dec 22, 2015 9:52 am

Tet wrote:
keera_envenomed wrote:The words may be similar but the connotations are very different. "Coloured" was the term used during Apartheid and segregation to describe non-white people hence why it causes offense. It's really not that much effort to use a slightly different phrase to not be an arse.

Actually, yes it is. Using the phrase "coloured people" doesn't make me an arse.

Sorry to jump in on this 'tricky' topic, but growing up in the 70's and 80's in Manchester the, (now), black lads were offended by being referred to as black and preferred the term coloured. 'My blaizer's black, not me' they used to say.

Postby **Jobdone** » Tue Dec 22, 2015 9:58 am

I just wish we'd make up our mind on it. I was told not to use coloured growing up, we had a whole little presentation in school about what terms weren't correct.

Postby **keera_envenomed** » Tue Dec 22, 2015 11:26 am

If you are confused or unsure, ask a non-white person! While they personally may not find certain terms offensive, they are likely to know what the general consensus is on certain words or phrases.

Postby **florencethemachine** » Tue Dec 22, 2015 12:05 pm

Having grown up in London i can confirm that as long the term p*ki and n*gger aren't used, non-whites do not give much of a fuck. Only ever seems to be white people who kick up a fuss over what terminology is deemed offensive.

Coloured is a very general term that my parents and relatives used/use in scotland. Not necessarily offensive, it's just a very vague term as it basically refers to all 7 billion people on the planet.

For me it has always been really simple:

Africans/Carribeans (Jamaica etc.) - Black
Indian/Bengalis/Pakistanis - Asian
Chinese/Japanese/Korean - Oriental
White British/Americans/Europeans - Overlords.

Postby **Tet** » Tue Dec 22, 2015 3:45 pm

florencethemachine wrote:Having grown up in London i can confirm that as long the term p*ki and n*gger aren't used, non-whites do not give much of a fuck.

And even then, it's not absolute. I've heard "paki" and "nigger" being used by those people to describe themselves.

florencethemachine wrote:Chinese/Japanese/Korean - Oriental

As if to illustrate my point perfectly, the term "oriental" is deemed offensive to many orientals in America, whereas over here it's used by that demographic to refer to themselves. There is no way to know which group will get offended by which terms, and it's futile to try. Anyone that chooses to be offended by certain terms when no offence was intended by the person using those terms has zero sympathy from me and I certainly won't change my language to try and pander to them.

Last FM · Postby **Nantha** » Tue Dec 22, 2015 10:51 pm

that bit in Love Actually :cry:

all the actual feels

Postby **Metalchemyst** » Wed Dec 23, 2015 8:44 am

Jobdone wrote:I just wish we'd make up our mind on it. I was told not to use coloured growing up, we had a whole little presentation in school about what terms weren't correct.

This confirms my suspicions about what goes on in schools these days.

Postby **Jobdone** » Wed Dec 23, 2015 8:48 am

Metalchemyst wrote:
Jobdone wrote:I just wish we'd make up our mind on it. I was told not to use coloured growing up, we had a whole little presentation in school about what terms weren't correct.
This confirms my suspicions about what goes on in schools these days.

its pc gone mad innit

Website · Postby **thehairyone** » Fri Dec 25, 2015 12:59 am

Slightly relevant conversation from this morning.

Other Rich: I'm going to do some packing while you do that cleaning.
Me: Packy Packy!
*pause*
Me: ...shit.

Postby **Green Man III** » Tue Dec 29, 2015 12:45 pm

kanet666 wrote:Not really "upset" by this, but certainly shocked. Got home from work to find out that my dad moved out today, mum's in bits for obvious reasons, and whilst I understand these things happen, from my point of view this has completely blindsided me, considering I've never seen them so much as argue in 22 years.

I came home for a stressless few weeks before exams and work hits hard, and this really hasn't helped. I just don't know how to react.

Thanks for that last night. Dad's moving back in to the sofa tomorrow after talking with mum earlier. From the snippets of info I've heard it seems it is my dad who's just done this out of the blue. Hopefully it sorts itself out one way or another.

No matter how much modern day films and TV try to convince us that divorce is a normal part of life....it's still devastating. So don't feel the need to not be upset by it.

Glad to hear it wasn't too serious and that your Dad is back. Hope they work it out, whatever it was.

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