What has made you happy today

Put the world to rights here (off-topic discussion)
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Fjar
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Re: What has made you happy today

Postby Fjar » Mon Aug 11, 2014 8:32 pm

thehairyone wrote:Someone did that in the shower next to Fjar on Friday morning. Impressed she was not.


For those who haven't heard the story:

WARNING: GROSS - DO NOT READ IF EATING OR IF IN POSSESSION OF A WEAK STOMACH

Waited half an hour for a hot shower (half of them were cold), went into the cubicle, shut the door and immediately caught the smell of something horrible. It smelled like rotten food with a hint of shit. I thought it might just be the smell of the portaloos 10m away coming through the vent. I then caught site of the drain that ran across the width of the cubicle (separating the 'dry' changing half on one side, 'wet' showering half on the other).

I saw the drain was clogged slightly, and something was stuck in it. A lot of stuff was stuck in it.

If you can imagine the composition of a really horrible, nasty, runny shit after a night of terrible food (think something with onions, meat and gravy) and alcohol, imagine for me now how that same shit might look if it was sieved through a series of 1mm holes.

Someone had taken a shit in the shower. Someone had taken a shit composed of half-digested food in the shower.

I showered faster than I ever have in my life (fuck waiting for a cubicle again), keeping my shoes very firmly on, and proceeded to dry and dress.

The door of the cubicle next to me opened and closed. A man's cough. The shower next door was turned on. The man coughed again. The man coughed louder. The man sounded like he was possibly in pain.

The water running down from underneath the partition and into my shower began to run brown.

I put my clothes on and swiftly left the shower. And that's the story of my worst Bloodstock memory.

EDIT: FFS, how did I end up posting this in the happy thread? :lol:
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Luke_X wrote:Got a ruler out and I measure it about 11 inches. Which pretty good value in my mind.

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Re: What has made you happy today

Postby Turbo » Mon Aug 11, 2014 8:41 pm

What. A. Lad.

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CrappyMike
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Re: What has made you happy today

Postby CrappyMike » Mon Aug 11, 2014 8:42 pm

That is fucking grim :lol:

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Re: What has made you happy today

Postby De Stijl » Tue Aug 12, 2014 5:39 pm

That is an absolute corker.
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Re: What has made you happy today

Postby Turbo » Tue Aug 12, 2014 8:11 pm

Skype tonight was a little shorter than normal, but otherwise had a good chat with the parents. Ex has gone to Summerbreeze, free house. Party around mine. All that shit.

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Re: What has made you happy today

Postby NeglectedField » Tue Aug 12, 2014 9:00 pm

I'm still reeling from how nice certain people were at BOA that I thought would be total dicks.

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Re: What has made you happy today

Postby logandog1 » Tue Aug 12, 2014 9:12 pm

Fjar wrote:
thehairyone wrote:Someone did that in the shower next to Fjar on Friday morning. Impressed she was not.


For those who haven't heard the story:

WARNING: GROSS - DO NOT READ IF EATING OR IF IN POSSESSION OF A WEAK STOMACH

Waited half an hour for a hot shower (half of them were cold), went into the cubicle, shut the door and immediately caught the smell of something horrible. It smelled like rotten food with a hint of shit. I thought it might just be the smell of the portaloos 10m away coming through the vent. I then caught site of the drain that ran across the width of the cubicle (separating the 'dry' changing half on one side, 'wet' showering half on the other).

I saw the drain was clogged slightly, and something was stuck in it. A lot of stuff was stuck in it.

If you can imagine the composition of a really horrible, nasty, runny shit after a night of terrible food (think something with onions, meat and gravy) and alcohol, imagine for me now how that same shit might look if it was sieved through a series of 1mm holes.

Someone had taken a shit in the shower. Someone had taken a shit composed of half-digested food in the shower.

I showered faster than I ever have in my life (fuck waiting for a cubicle again), keeping my shoes very firmly on, and proceeded to dry and dress.

The door of the cubicle next to me opened and closed. A man's cough. The shower next door was turned on. The man coughed again. The man coughed louder. The man sounded like he was possibly in pain.

The water running down from underneath the partition and into my shower began to run brown.

I put my clothes on and swiftly left the shower. And that's the story of my worst Bloodstock memory.

EDIT: FFS, how did I end up posting this in the happy thread? :lol:



Sorry but it did make us laugh when you told us
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thehairyone
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Re: What has made you happy today

Postby thehairyone » Tue Aug 12, 2014 9:28 pm

TBF - I'm still laughing. And cringing. And throwing up in my mouth a little. And feeling sympathetic. But still laughing.
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Fjar
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Re: What has made you happy today

Postby Fjar » Tue Aug 12, 2014 9:33 pm

I can see the funny side. :D But I have never felt so dirty after what should have been a lovely shower.
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Luke_X wrote:Got a ruler out and I measure it about 11 inches. Which pretty good value in my mind.

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Re: What has made you happy today

Postby Jim » Tue Aug 12, 2014 9:36 pm

I still found Bob's story about the pebble-dashed stall wall funnier. Just the mental image of what could cause such devastation in a stall...
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Re: What has made you happy today

Postby Turbo » Tue Aug 12, 2014 9:46 pm

Worst thing I saw was an overflowing portaloo with a bum print in the top of mountain. Luckily I only wanted to weather it with piss. Toilets at Metal Camp make the smell of the Imperial War Museums trench experience smell rather pleasant.

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Re: What has made you happy today

Postby thehairyone » Tue Aug 12, 2014 10:13 pm

I did open a portaloo once to find a mound at least a foot above the seat, and someone had tapped a used tampon in to the top like a candle on a cake. I should really have taken a picture.
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Re: What has made you happy today

Postby MetalBeast » Tue Aug 12, 2014 10:14 pm

Fjar wrote:
thehairyone wrote:Someone did that in the shower next to Fjar on Friday morning. Impressed she was not.


For those who haven't heard the story:

WARNING: GROSS - DO NOT READ IF EATING OR IF IN POSSESSION OF A WEAK STOMACH

Waited half an hour for a hot shower (half of them were cold), went into the cubicle, shut the door and immediately caught the smell of something horrible. It smelled like rotten food with a hint of shit. I thought it might just be the smell of the portaloos 10m away coming through the vent. I then caught site of the drain that ran across the width of the cubicle (separating the 'dry' changing half on one side, 'wet' showering half on the other).

I saw the drain was clogged slightly, and something was stuck in it. A lot of stuff was stuck in it.

If you can imagine the composition of a really horrible, nasty, runny shit after a night of terrible food (think something with onions, meat and gravy) and alcohol, imagine for me now how that same shit might look if it was sieved through a series of 1mm holes.

Someone had taken a shit in the shower. Someone had taken a shit composed of half-digested food in the shower.

I showered faster than I ever have in my life (fuck waiting for a cubicle again), keeping my shoes very firmly on, and proceeded to dry and dress.

The door of the cubicle next to me opened and closed. A man's cough. The shower next door was turned on. The man coughed again. The man coughed louder. The man sounded like he was possibly in pain.

The water running down from underneath the partition and into my shower began to run brown.

I put my clothes on and swiftly left the shower. And that's the story of my worst Bloodstock memory.

EDIT: FFS, how did I end up posting this in the happy thread? :lol:


Should have rubbed his nose in it - that would have learned the fucker!
All right, so I MADE a mistake! ONE MISTAKE!
Can't a man start over?! Do I have to keep on PAYING?! HUH?!
Maybe I should make another mistake! ...maybe TWO more!

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Re: What has made you happy today

Postby Turbo » Tue Aug 12, 2014 10:54 pm

Had some beers tonight, spoke to a friend over facebook that I used to work with. She often brightens my day up a bit. Barmy cow. :D

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Re: What has made you happy today

Postby De Stijl » Thu Aug 14, 2014 10:01 am

NeglectedField wrote:I'm still reeling from how nice certain people were at BOA that I thought would be total dicks.


Everyone's a bit of a cunt.
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