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Re: movies

Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2015 10:28 pm
by Jobdone
Dog Soldiers - The one saviour of the day of Bloodborne and movies. British as fuck, fun, great effects, and Davos from Game of Thrones. Surprised I haven't seen this one before, but bloody great. 8/10

Mine Games - It wants to be Triangle but it's bad at it and don't do time travel if you're gonna do it bad. 5/10

11-11-11 - Things happen on 11-11-11. Much spooky. "YOU BELIEVE IN GOD BUT YOU CAN'T BELIEVE THIS". Cool idea but badly paced, poorly acted, and just dodgy in general. 5/10

Phantasm - Heard a lot about this movie but eh. Some really gimpy scenes where the tall man is chasing the kid, and the concept it's based on is oddly hilarious. Some cool effects though. 6/10

Re: movies

Posted: Sun Jul 12, 2015 12:17 am
by Smerphy

I hate superhero movies but I really want to see this. :D

Re: movies

Posted: Sun Jul 12, 2015 9:25 am
by Jobdone
That trailer got me super excited until I realised its not out till March then it just annoyed me.

My hype will be dead by then.

I'll be oversatured with "NEW PICTURES FROM BLAH BLAH BLAH" and ground down.

Re: movies

Posted: Sun Jul 12, 2015 12:41 pm
by Smerphy
Horrible quality but this is Deadpool:

Also I thought the metal batsuit was stupid at first, but now I think it makes sense since he's just a man fighting a god. :D

Re: movies

Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2015 10:09 am
by Jobdone
Over the weekend:

Dark Knight Trilogy - Still awesome

Needful Things - The devil comes into a sleepy little town and starts turn everyone against each other. Great descent into madness kinda movie, plus Ed Harris who's great. 8/10

Bronson - Rewatch just to cement how much of a fucking beast Tom Hardy is 8/10

Body Bags - Fun little TV anthology horror from 1993. Nothing special, but entertainign enough 6/10

Insidious 3 - Not really a fan of the other two which probably doesn't help. Less sound mixing startles than I expected. Different director, and you can feel it. Prequel that's meant to bring together some stuff frmo the first one. Fairly meh. Really falls apart in the third act. 5/10

Re: movies

Posted: Thu Jul 23, 2015 9:46 am
by Potato-Jim
Out of all the upcoming superhero films, Batman V Superman interests me the least.

Ant Man was good though.

Re: movies

Posted: Fri Jul 24, 2015 1:36 pm
by Darkweasel


Tara Reid's Chainsaw Hand is not only a great name for a racehorse but also a selection of words I never thought I'd ever use to begin a sentence. Still, there it is. Tara Reid has a chainsaw hand and there's a wall of sharknados heading for Universal Studios.
Beginning with a James Bond inspired title sequence, a decimation-by-sharknado of The White House quickly follows. Our hero from the first two movies, Fin, grabs an (inexplicably fully functioning) Golden Chainsaw Award given to him for all of his shark slicing work in the first two films and kicks ass side by side with the President. Hacking and slashing their way through a wall of flying sharks in a dazzling deluge of CGI blood and bad acting, sharks and people are left in bloody smears everywhere (not even original Hulk, Lou Ferrigno, or Jackie Collins are safe), culminating in the most overtly patriotic shark/flag death you will ever see.

Shortly before the Washington sharknado, Fin realises he can actually smell the shark storms now (no, really) and realises they're heading south to Florida.
Now, take a wild guess where the rest of Fin's family are holidaying...
Yes, his daughter, pregnant one-handed Tara Reid, and glamorous granny, Bo Derek (the son is off with the Air Force somewhere), are busy soaking up the sun in what will soon be sharknado alley.

On his travels, fin is rescued from another sharknado by the hot girl from the first two films, Nova, who is now a fully qualified shark hunter and looking like the sexiest thing this side of Sexy Town with her clinging, skimpy, conveniently bust-revealing outfit. Driving an armour plated sharknado battle bus called The Beast, Nova has teamed up with techno-dweeb, Frankie (Malcolm in the Middle) Muniz who clearly has the most unrequited of loves for her. Very soon, Malcolm in the Middle ends up being Malcolm Just a Middle, and Fin and Nova reach Orlando (with the quickest, most needless, but also the most brilliant change of costumes ever) just in time to track down Fin's father, former astronaut, David Hasselhoff.

Yes. The Hoff is Fin's dad and with the use of a space shuttle and some rocket fuel, they work together to get rid of the wall of sharknados.
From space.
Now, from this point on, things get a bit silly. Flying space sharks re-entering the earth's atmosphere with people inside them giving birth and sticking parachutes out of holes they've just chainsawed is yet another poorly constructed sentence I never thought I'd have to write. But there you go.

Probably the weakest of this utterly preposterous series, Sharknado 3 is still stupidly good low budget fun featuring silly sight gags (the Lincoln Memorial), more nods to Jaws (a character called Gottlieb), some daft shark-based jokes (Fin and his father, Gill), and a list of cameos you will seriously struggle to keep up with. I noticed Chris Jericho (wrestler), Michelle Bachmann (politician), various TV presenters, Tim Russ (Tuvok from Star Trek Voyager), Michael Winslow (Police Academy), Jedward (twats), Jerry Springer, Penn and Teller, Kendra Wilkinson (I'm a Celebrity...), and a few others. George RR Martin was easily the funniest though, finally meeting his own bloody end in a cinema while watching 3 Headed Shark Attack.
Serves him right for not getting on and finishing the next Game of Thrones book.


Re: movies

Posted: Tue Jul 28, 2015 7:17 pm
by Jobdone

Best watched on a computer because the whole thing takes place on a computer (Similar style to Collingswood Story if anyones seen that).

A girl who committed suicide comes back on the anniversary of her death to fuck with the people who she thinks are responsible for it by fucking with them through skype.

Sold as a horror but eventually justs becomes Schandenfreude the comedy. Just found myself laughing at this friend group of absolute cunts get torn apart and messed with.

Thoroughly entertaining though, even if for the wrong reasons.

Really doesn't use it's premise to the fullest though considering. There's a lot of moments where there could've been some effective jumpscares abusing the premise but didn't. Built tension well for a bit but petered out hard on the horror.

Also it's fucking awful if you know anything whatsoever about how computers or skype works.

All in, super fun, but not a good horror movie.

Also full of dank memes.


Re: movies

Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2015 9:06 am
by Haldamir319
Nearly 3/4 of the way through the year - what's been everyone's favourites so far?

I have Whiplash and Birdman fighting out for top spot, then Ex Machina and Kingsman tussling over 3rd. Not sure after that, though A Most Violent Year would be quite high - similarly Enemy, Avengers 2, Jurassic World, Ant-Man, It Follows and one or two others.

Re: movies

Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2015 1:29 pm
by Darkweasel
Some of these might have had middle/late 2014 releases but I only saw them this year, so nerr.

TOP 20
1. Whiplash
2. Mad Max
3. Nightcrawler
4. Jurassic World
5. Avengers - Age of Ultron
6. Ant-Man
7. The Imitation Game
8. Housebound
9. Kraftidioten
10. Kingsman
11. The Theory of Everything
12. Terminator: Genisys
13. The Little Death
14. Interstellar
15. Big Hero 6
16. '71
17. Birdman
18. American Sniper
19. Gone Girl
20. Foxcatcher

1. Human Centipede 3
2. Poltergeist
3. Lucy
4. Pixels
5. The Redwood Massacre
6. Exeter
7. Boyhood
8. Into the Storm
9. Chappie
10. The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1


I spotted the trailer for this a few months ago on Youtube. I'd just watched another trailer and this was one of the recommendations at the end. I knew nothing about it but it looked interesting so I gave it a go. All went swimmingly for about fifteen seconds, the film appeared to have a fun premise and the effects looked great. It actually looked like Hollywood was delivering a genuine surprise package for the summer. God help me, I was almost excited.
And then it happened.
Adam Sandler and Kevin James appeared and it felt like someone had grabbed me and squeezed every last drop of hope straight out of my soul. An empty shell of shattered expectation, I slumped back in my seat, shook my head and chanted the mantra of the eternal optimist: "You never know. It might not be THAT bad."

Well, now I know.
And, in fairness, it wasn't as bad as I feared.
Yes, it's a steaming pile of festering elephant shit, a painfully pointless exercise in Peter Kay style "it's funny because you remember things" comedy, with acting straight out of the depths of Hell itself, but it wasn't as bad as I imagined.

Now, before I go on, I have to stress I'm not an obsessive Sandler hater. I liked Happy Gilmore, Billy Madison, and The Wedding Singer. I even found stuff to laugh at in Little Nicky, Big Daddy, and Fifty First Dates wasn't entirely awful either. Same for Kevin James. I used to like King of Queens and he always brightened up even the dullest episode of Everybody Loves Raymond when he appeared on crossover episodes.
His films, however, have been nothing short of ghastly. Every last one of them I've had the misfortune to sit through has been a turgid mess of badly written jokes wrapped around the thinnest of ideas.
For the love of God, James. Stop making films and go back to TV where you can make jokes about being fat again. It's where you belong.
Peter (Game of Thrones) Dinklage and Josh (Frozen) Gadd (both of whom I like) appear in this dung heap of a film too, and if they wish to retain any sense of credibility, must surely be in the process of sacking their agents by now.

Now, as bad as everything else might be (and to be fair as possible, the special effects are actually very good), extra special levels of disappointment and disdain must be directed at the writers. Writers old enough to know, for example, that a film based on pop culture and gaming references from 1982 should only actually contain references from that year and before. NOT after.
The script is very specific about things being from 1982 so it's impossible not to be saying a massive "what the absolute FUCK?" to references featuring Madonna (not famous until 1983), Samantha Fox (1983 and primarily in the UK), Twisted Sister (1983/4 in the States), The Karate Kid (1984), and Max Headroom (1985). It also mentions arcade games like Tetris (1984), Paperboy (1984/5) and Duck Hunt (not only released in 1984 but a home console game only). The sheer level of ineptitude in the writing is laughable.

Although appearing to be the primary human antagonist for the bulk of the film, Brian Cox's character just sort of disappears without actually doing anything noteworthy, the aliens inexplicably refer to Q*Bert as a traitor after sending him to the humans as a trophy themselves, and the only way they can crowbar Pac Man into the scenario is by making him a fucking bad guy!
The negative stereotypes on display are equally as unbelievable. A black soldier who claims James is his second favourite President - yes, Kevin James plays THE PRESIDENT. As if a huge enough willing suspension of disbelief wasn't already required to begin with! - after.. well, you can guess. The British are somehow portrayed even worse than they are in Independence Day, and the female characters appear to have been written in wax crayon by ten year old boys.

An absolutely appalling mess of a film with some nice special effects.

Re: movies

Posted: Fri Aug 07, 2015 10:44 am
by Bisset
Hold everything...Kung Pow is finally getting a sequel!,manual,manual,manual,manual

Re: movies

Posted: Fri Aug 07, 2015 3:51 pm
by Potato-Jim
My film of the year is Inside Out. I doubt anything will top it for me, personally.

Re: movies

Posted: Sat Aug 08, 2015 7:12 am
by AnnihiSlateR
Haldamir319 wrote:Nearly 3/4 of the way through the year - what's been everyone's favourites so far?

I have Whiplash and Birdman fighting out for top spot, then Ex Machina and Kingsman tussling over 3rd. Not sure after that, though A Most Violent Year would be quite high - similarly Enemy, Avengers 2, Jurassic World, Ant-Man, It Follows and one or two others.

It's been a pretty average year for me so far. I've actually struggled to get use of my cineworld card. And even then Home isn't showing a great deal I've been bothered about either.

Anyway, criteria is became available in the UK in 2015.

1. The Better Angels
2. Birdman
3. Mad Max: Fury Road
4. Far From the Madding Crowd
5. Whiplash
6. Mommy
7. The Duff
8. White Bird In A Blizzard
9. Ex Machina
10. Furious 7

Still need to see Maidan, Manglehorn, Lost River and The Duke of Burgundy yet though.

Re: movies

Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2015 1:25 pm
by WorMzy
Bisset wrote:Hold everything...Kung Pow is finally getting a sequel!,manual,manual,manual,manual

I'll believe it when I see it. It's been "getting a sequel" since it first came out.

Re: movies

Posted: Wed Aug 12, 2015 4:04 pm
by Soze
I've only seen 12 movies with 2015 UK release dates so far this year. I'd rank them thusly

1. Whiplash *****
2. Birdman *****
3. Mad Max: Fury Road ****1/2
4. Kingsman ****1/2
5. Avengers: Age of Ultron ****
6. Shaun the Sheep ****
7. Ant-Man ****
8. Ex Machine ****
9. The Theory of Everything ***1/2
10. It Follows ***
11. Big Hero 6 **1/2
12. Jupiter Ascending *1/2