movies

Put the world to rights here (off-topic discussion)
User avatar
Haldamir319
Hell Bent for Leather
Posts: 2609
Joined: Fri Apr 03, 2009 1:42 pm
Location: Sheffield
Contact:

Re: movies

Postby Haldamir319 » Wed Feb 17, 2016 8:10 am

someone else wrote:Saw Deadpool last night - enjoyed it. It was a little too snarky at times, but after finally getting through Age Of Ultron last week after the fourth attempt due to its tedium, it was good to see a comic book film that wasn't so self important.

Also enjoyed The Martian, and Legend had its good bits but one half of Tom Hardy was good (Reggie), but the other just seemed like a Little Britain-does-psychopath.

Also watched Moneyball, which was alright for a film about a sport I know very little, but was intrigued after reading a book called Soccernomics which mentions the story behind it. It just made me think about just how big a star Brad Pitt is, but I can barely remember any really enjoyable film he's been in since Oceans 11, and few seem to be that big either. Same with Angelina...


If we're just talking about films he has been in (rather than outright led) then since Ocean's 11, there's been:
Babel, Burn After Reading, Inglorious Basterds, Moneyball, World War Z, 12 Years A Slave, and The Big Short. I'd consider all of the above to be very good, very enjoyable or both.

I've not seen them, but heard generally positive things about Fury, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, and The Tree of Life too.
Image

User avatar
Jobdone
Denim Demon
Posts: 15679
Joined: Fri Aug 21, 2009 9:37 am
Location: Tiny Village, Wales

Re: movies

Postby Jobdone » Wed Feb 17, 2016 8:26 am

I love him when he's playing those odd characters, like him a fuck load less when he's playing Brad Pitt.

Like Burn After Reading he's fucking great in, but then World War Z, much like the movie itself, he's bland as fuck.
Image

User avatar
Darkweasel
Denim Demon
Posts: 14551
Joined: Wed May 30, 2007 10:08 pm
Location: Shakespeare Cuntry
Contact:

Re: movies

Postby Darkweasel » Wed Feb 24, 2016 11:37 pm

Deadpool is ace.
That is all.
Image

User avatar
Darkweasel
Denim Demon
Posts: 14551
Joined: Wed May 30, 2007 10:08 pm
Location: Shakespeare Cuntry
Contact:

Re: movies

Postby Darkweasel » Sun Feb 28, 2016 1:53 am

EQUALIZER 2000
(1987)

Image

There's a scene in an episode of Spaced where Simon Pegg and his friends escape being beaten up by playing finger guns like schoolchildren, both sides pretend-shooting at each other with make believe machine guns and blowing their opponents up with invisible hand grenades.

Equalizer 2000 is that, basically. Grown men with fake weapons running around and shooting at each other for ninety minutes. Whooping like Red Indians (sorry, Native Americans) and yeehawing like confederate soldiers, baddies run up hills or get into car chases, while goodies do their best to look sexy and tough. And then run up hills and get into car chases.

Set in post-apocalyptic North Alaska, 100 years after a nuclear war has left the earth nothing more than a desert, a "blistering, relentless sun" beats down on the "scorched, arid desert" and oil is the most sought after commodity.
So, yes. We're in Mad Max rip-off territory again. Pitifully cheap Mad Max rip-off territory actually. Minimal, badly spoken dialogue, cars with random bits of spiky metal welded to them, sexy leather clothes for the women, and American Football shoulder pads and motorcycle helmets for the men.

The oil is owned by a bunch of baddies, rather handily called "The Ownership", and a band of rebels are out to restore peace and justice by taking it for themselves. Oh, and there's a tribe of Native Americans (Inuit?) led by a Filipino called Firewall and a band of nasty traders featuring a very young and bearded Robert Patrick (Terminator 2, The X-Files, True Blood) with a nice line in Yankee civil war uniforms.

All round hero type, Slade (fighting on the side of The Ownership), leaps into action when his father is killed by the rebels and is immediately captured. He escapes, helps a sexy rebel girl out of a spot of bother from Robert Patrick's band of outlaw types, is taken in by the very trustworthy rebels, and decides to become one of them for some reason. Using his welding and metalwork skills, he takes a newly designed machine gun and turns it into an even bigger, sexier, more futuristic and completely impractical machine gun. The titular Equalizer 2000.

After witnessing Slade blowing a load of The Ownership away with his new toy, the main bad guy decides he wants the ridiculous, cumbersome weapon for himself and everybody shoots at each other and sets each other on fire again. After repeatedly stating they won't get involved, the bizarre Inuit/Filipinio/Native American tribe suddenly decide to help out at the most opportune moment, making the bad guys lose, the good guys win, and throwing all the weapons on the fire as some kind of symbolic gesture.

E-2000 is basically just one long gunfight with intermittent interludes for flamethrowers, grenades, bows and arrows and spears. It's a fourteen year old American boy's wet dream, the only let-down being the clearly insufficient screen time given to the sex scene and a complete lack of boobies. But still. Guns, guns, guns.

Not that it actually matters, but nothing makes any sense either. We've already been told that the earth is relentlessly hot, so why are people so concerned about getting through the winter? Also, for a desert wasteland, the amount of lush, verdant forestry and towering grassy hills is really quite surprising, and although there might be a paucity of oil, there's certainly no shortage of make-up and hairspray for the ladies.

If it's bad special effects and continuity errors you're looking for, then step this way. Low speed car chases end when the car in front jumps over a superimposed matte painting of a crevasse. However, instead of following the car over the slender gorge, the baddies decide their cars obviously aren't up to it and give up. Mind you, with the amount of spikes and junk metal covering their vehicles, it was probably the right move in the long run. The girl in sexy leather trousers runs up a hill with nothing in her hands but when she gets to the top she's suddenly grasping a massive box of ammunition. And in one of my favourite moments, when the hero is surrounded (and remember, this is a world where NOBODY runs out of ammo, EVER), a baddie with a big machine gun chooses a novel manner of attack, preferring to try and beat Slade over the head with it rather than, I don't know, maybe just fucking SHOOTING HIM WITH IT?

The film is littered with random, generic military orders. Highly complex strategies such as "fall in", "fall out", "fall back", "retreat", "attack", and "pincer movement" are casually strewn around the dusty set as much as the many clearly wooden machine guns that bad guys pretend to use in the middle of gunfights while the music score blares away in the background, sounding like someone playing a Casio keyboard after watching a Rocky movie marathon.

Accidentally hilarious, noisy and cheap.
5/10
Image

User avatar
Darkweasel
Denim Demon
Posts: 14551
Joined: Wed May 30, 2007 10:08 pm
Location: Shakespeare Cuntry
Contact:

Re: movies

Postby Darkweasel » Thu Mar 03, 2016 2:24 pm

Fuck off.
Fuck off.
Fuck off.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3ugHP-yZXw

Fuck off.
Image

User avatar
Jobdone
Denim Demon
Posts: 15679
Joined: Fri Aug 21, 2009 9:37 am
Location: Tiny Village, Wales

Re: movies

Postby Jobdone » Fri Mar 04, 2016 11:18 pm

Series 7: The Contender

A weird hold up of reality shows a good few years before they got proper oversaturated. Flicks between tones a bit quickly, but honestly it works.

A rare treat in the pile of trash I'm currently working through.
Image

User avatar
kanet666
Hell Bent for Leather
Posts: 2972
Joined: Sat Jul 23, 2011 3:20 pm
Location: Welwyn Garden City
Contact:

Re: movies

Postby kanet666 » Fri Mar 04, 2016 11:29 pm

Darkweasel wrote:Fuck off.
Fuck off.
Fuck off.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3ugHP-yZXw

Fuck off.


Yep, looks fucking awful, and of course the media have declared anyone who doesn't like it a sexist despite the fact that from the trailer we can see the characters are badly written, it's unfunny and the sfx are awful.
Steam = Starchild
Facebook

Catch me at:
20/6/20 - Rammstein - Coventry

User avatar
Soze
Denim Demon
Posts: 7796
Joined: Sun Dec 03, 2006 5:24 pm
Location: Plymouth
Contact:

Re: movies

Postby Soze » Sat Mar 05, 2016 12:36 pm

kanet666 wrote:Yep, looks fucking awful, and of course the media have declared anyone who doesn't like it a sexist despite the fact that from the trailer we can see the characters are badly written, it's unfunny and the sfx are awful.


The sfx look perfectly fine to me. I don't like to draw too many conclusions from a trailer but this didn't make me laugh at all, which isn't a good sign for what is ostensibly a comedy. I'll wait for the reviews before deciding whether to see it or not. I'm not massively opposed to it, I like the original but it's not an all time favourite or anything and I couldn't give a rat's ass what sex, colour or creed the new Ghostbusters are.

ribbons69
Denim Demon
Posts: 5161
Joined: Sat Sep 16, 2006 9:04 pm
Location: The howling edge

Re: movies

Postby ribbons69 » Sun Mar 06, 2016 12:06 pm

Soze wrote:
kanet666 wrote:Yep, looks fucking awful, and of course the media have declared anyone who doesn't like it a sexist despite the fact that from the trailer we can see the characters are badly written, it's unfunny and the sfx are awful.


The sfx look perfectly fine to me. I don't like to draw too many conclusions from a trailer but this didn't make me laugh at all, which isn't a good sign for what is ostensibly a comedy. I'll wait for the reviews before deciding whether to see it or not. I'm not massively opposed to it, I like the original but it's not an all time favourite or anything and I couldn't give a rat's ass what sex, colour or creed the new Ghostbusters are.

I've only watched the trailer once (and believe me that's all I'm going to) but it appears to begin as a continuation of the original film(s) then switches course and becomes a reboot instead. A very poor reboot.
Tom G Warrior wrote:I’ve seen Andrew Eldritch in an ice hockey shirt onstage, and I’ve given him the benefit of the doubt,


we fall to rise

User avatar
Green Man III
Consort of the Beast
Posts: 249
Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2015 2:33 am

Re: movies

Postby Green Man III » Sun Mar 20, 2016 3:58 pm

All female cast and it looks like there won't be any female nudity....so, I'll probably pass.

User avatar
Jobdone
Denim Demon
Posts: 15679
Joined: Fri Aug 21, 2009 9:37 am
Location: Tiny Village, Wales

Re: movies

Postby Jobdone » Fri Mar 25, 2016 1:04 am

Rubber

I'm still not sure if this is a fantastic meta analysis of the relationship between audience and filmmaker, or a really fucking stupid movie about a tyre. Either way it's great.

10/10

Poultrygeist: Chicken of the Dead

Showed it to two new people, and it's just as amazing as I remember it. I adore troma.

10/10
Image

User avatar
Darkweasel
Denim Demon
Posts: 14551
Joined: Wed May 30, 2007 10:08 pm
Location: Shakespeare Cuntry
Contact:

Re: movies

Postby Darkweasel » Sun Mar 27, 2016 10:30 pm

BATMAN vs SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE

SPOILERS EVERYWHERE


It's the old, old story. Batman meets Superman, Batman loses Superman, Batman and Superman talk about each other in gruff voices, Batman fights Superman, Batman has make-up sex with Superman before fighting a massive blob of expensive CGI. Okay, the make-up sex part didn't happen. Which is a bit of a shame really, as it certainly would have livened things up a little.

Batman vs Superman isn't a terrible film, but it tries really hard to be. Massively overlong, bizarrely paced (either nothing happens at all, or everything happens at once), and utterly, utterly joyless. There was not one single laugh out loud moment in the whole thing. Nothing. A couple of people at the screening briefly chortled a couple of times, but I can only assume that was because they hadn't seen the trailer, as both lines were present in that.

Oh, and if you've seen the trailer and have only a passing interest in watching the film, then there's really no need to bother. Apart from a couple of bits and pieces here and there, the trailer (as suspected) tells you pretty much all you need to know. When the next film comes off the conveyor belt, they'll be able to explain away the events of this in one small 30 second expositional speech.

Zack Snyder once again proves that 300 and Dawn of the Dead were nothing but beginners luck. Desperately trying every trick in the book to get as much of Amy Adams' tits into shot during the bath scene was lechery, pure and simple, and he couldn't even coax a decent performance out of Jeremy Irons, who delivered every one of his lines in the same thoroughly disinterested manner. If Irons intent was to make Alfred sound bored out of his mind and generally pissed off about everything, then he certainly didn't have to act very hard.

Jesse Eisenberg.
Jesse. Fucking. Eisenberg.
Hey, if I'm going to review a superhero movie, then I might as well do it properly.
Worst. Lex. Luthor. EVER.
A floppy-haired, nasal, irritating little gobshite with all the deranged menace of a grumpy squirrel.

Anyway, after about seven hours of fannying about, the main event finally gets underway in probably the exact same way you've imagined in your head. And at this point, everything is actually going pretty well to be honest. The film has hit a decent run of form and things are looking up. And then the whole thing becomes a mother issue and the fight ends because their mummys happen to both have the same Christian name or something. What?

I did like the whole idea of how Superman inadvertently destroying Metropolis, thereby killing thousands of people at the end of Man of Steel, was the catalyst for Batman's anger against him, but by the end of the film, that was all forgotten as The Caped Crusader became just another CGI building smasher. Then there's Wonder Woman. Much like Batman Returns, Batman vs Superman had one character too many and she was it. Her entire inclusion just felt like a set-up for her own spin-off movie, and that ridiculously forced scene featuring the other two superheroes was even worse. Add to that another villain in the shape of Doomsday (a cross between the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, a Cave Troll, and The Abomination from Edward Norton's The Incredible Hulk) and everything just became far too cluttered, even for a film of two and a half hours in length.

There's just so much wrong on every level. From the horrible CGI to the acting to the sheer drudgery of the whole endeavour, to little irksome details which wouldn't have even been noticeable had the film had been more enjoyable. Stupid little things like after all these years, are people really still using the same old "Oops, I took a wrong turn looking for the bathroom" excuse and getting away with it? Why did Superman land at the bottom of the steps at the Capitol building when he could have saved himself a walk by landing right outside the door? Why did Wonder Woman's new theme tune sound so horribly and jarringly out of place with the mood of the rest of the film? Why were there so many time-consuming dream sequences and why was there a dream sequence within a dream sequence? When will film makers stop inserting rubbish, and utterly pointless 3-D shots? And why was so much of it shot out of focus?

I'm a big fan of superhero films, and in many ways this was actually two superhero films (even the title splits the events down the middle) but this just fell short of the mark in every way imaginable. That's not to say it was awful all the way through. No, there were some very decent moments scattered among the debris, but sadly nothing to ever get me on the edge of my seat. Maybe I'm just too old and jaded. It's more than possible seeing as I was very probably the only person in the entire cinema to not jump when the man-sized bat thing leapt out of yet another dream sequence. Maybe it was starting the movie with yet another take on the Bruce Wayne orphan story that turned me off it in some way, but all I know is that when everyone else in the cinema shrieked or jerked back in their seat, I had just finished my perfectly timed "scary-thing-will-pop-out-in-5-4-3-2-1" countdown.

5/10
Image

User avatar
WorMzy
Denim Demon
Posts: 5009
Joined: Sun Aug 19, 2007 4:11 pm
Location: Dundee
Contact:

Re: movies

Postby WorMzy » Sun Mar 27, 2016 10:33 pm

Deadpool:

Yeah, it's alright.

10/10
"I don't always go to clubs... but when I do, I enter through the ladies room"
~ Adam Jenson

User avatar
Jobdone
Denim Demon
Posts: 15679
Joined: Fri Aug 21, 2009 9:37 am
Location: Tiny Village, Wales

Re: movies

Postby Jobdone » Thu Mar 31, 2016 7:43 pm

Batman vs Superman

Awful

Trying to jam too much in at once whilst still managing to be thoroughly uninteresting.

The score is this odd mishmash where the composer is trying to make dank references to old superman, be dramatic, and (I've got to assume) incorporate Wonder Womans new theme. Which is bad. And if it's the actual theme for her I'm going to projectile vomit.

Batfleck is okay.

Superman is still boring.

All the fights are massive CGI cum fests that lack any kind of tension or interest.

Slow motion isn't as cool as Synder thinks it is.

Jesse Eisenberg may well have killed the Lex Luther character.

The final enemy was dope as fuck but everything else was terrible.

2/10.
Image

Turbo
Denim Demon
Posts: 14065
Joined: Tue May 02, 2006 3:05 pm
Location: Solihull, WM.
Contact:

Re: movies

Postby Turbo » Thu Mar 31, 2016 9:46 pm

Jesse Eisenberg is a drip that plays a drip in everything I have seen with him in.


Didn't we already have one of the actors. Adam San I can't do it fuck off.