Re: movies
Posted: Mon Oct 08, 2018 6:47 pm
DAY 5
BLOOD FEAST
(2016)
Opening with a disclaimer similar to the one which accompanied the trailer to director Herschell Gordon Lewis's 1963 original, the opening couple of minutes to this appalling attempt at a remake is pretty much the best things ever get.
Relocating the story to Paris for some reason, the plot remains almost the same as the original with diner owner Fuad Ramses (Robert Rusler from A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2) under the influence of Egyptian (Sumerian in actuality) goddess, Ishtar, appeasing her with blood sacrifices by hacking his way through a bunch of terrible, terrible actors.
The difference this time is that Ramses has a wife (Caroline Williams from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2) and a teenage daughter (played by a thirty-seven year old actress probably best known for her appearance in a Blink-182 music video). Appallingly acted and generally awful, the only highlights are the pleasing amounts of nudity, some of the gore, and a brief, and most welcome appearance by Herschell Gordon Lewis himself.
The first hour is so slow that everything virtually comes to a stop, but it does feature one utterly majestic moment of Joey Tribbiani “smell the fart” acting from Rusler. The rest of the film, however, just sort of mopes along, occasionally aided by some bouncy bits and hearty splashes of blood. The final scenes are quite good, featuring lots of gore and some decent effects for a minute or two, before the whole thing ends so abruptly you think you've missed something.
You did.
The last ninety minutes of your life.
3/10
BLOOD FEAST
(2016)
Opening with a disclaimer similar to the one which accompanied the trailer to director Herschell Gordon Lewis's 1963 original, the opening couple of minutes to this appalling attempt at a remake is pretty much the best things ever get.
Relocating the story to Paris for some reason, the plot remains almost the same as the original with diner owner Fuad Ramses (Robert Rusler from A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2) under the influence of Egyptian (Sumerian in actuality) goddess, Ishtar, appeasing her with blood sacrifices by hacking his way through a bunch of terrible, terrible actors.
The difference this time is that Ramses has a wife (Caroline Williams from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2) and a teenage daughter (played by a thirty-seven year old actress probably best known for her appearance in a Blink-182 music video). Appallingly acted and generally awful, the only highlights are the pleasing amounts of nudity, some of the gore, and a brief, and most welcome appearance by Herschell Gordon Lewis himself.
The first hour is so slow that everything virtually comes to a stop, but it does feature one utterly majestic moment of Joey Tribbiani “smell the fart” acting from Rusler. The rest of the film, however, just sort of mopes along, occasionally aided by some bouncy bits and hearty splashes of blood. The final scenes are quite good, featuring lots of gore and some decent effects for a minute or two, before the whole thing ends so abruptly you think you've missed something.
You did.
The last ninety minutes of your life.
3/10