Re: movies
Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2018 3:23 pm
Remake, eh? The last I read, it was undecided whether it was going to be a remake or yet another sequel.
Pallet's boobs make a welcome appearance in Part 6.
But first, this...
DAY #16
WRONG TURN 5: BLOODLINE
(2012)
Four sequels down the line and it's obvious that the Wrong Turn series has long since given up even attempting to maintain any sense of continuity or sense within its own timeline. Now, in this fourth and obviously direct to DVD sequel, the inexplicable decision was made to re-introduce the toothless and virtually pointless old man from the first two films and make him a central figure. This time though, instead of an old, dentally challenged yee-haw, we have someone called Maynard Odets played by the very English Doug Bradley (Pinhead from Hellraiser), a serial killer father figure to the three Hillicker brothers. Oh yes, sorry, I forgot to mention the happy little mutants were given a completely unnecessary family name in the last movie. Anyway, Odets spends most of his time saying "focking" and his entire character barely makes any sense at all. Mind you, at this point in Wrong Turn Land, nothing makes any sense any more. Even the fourth film looks like it may actually have been some kind of reboot now.
After being arrested while trying to kill some dispensable teenager morons, Odets is thrown in the town jail where for the next hour of the film he repeatedly, and with irritating smugness, proceeds to tell everybody within earshot that "you're all going to focking die". Meanwhile, the three brothers come down from the hills to rescue him, shutting off the town's power in the middle of a music festival, and killing everyone with bouncy boobies and/or a speaking part.
Continuing down the road to torture porn, there really is nothing of any value here at all. While the original actually managed to be scary in places, and the second had a handful of decent characters (as did the third, but to a much lesser extent), parts 4 and 5 don't even have that. Each character is introduced purely for the sake of being killed as ridiculously as possible. No scares and no shocks, just (occasionally amusing) impractical and prolonged murder set-pieces. Over the course of two short films, the once scary inbreds are reduced to being nothing more than particularly mean-spirited hillbilly versions of Wile E Coyote.
So, apart from an early appearance by a largely untalented Finn Jones (Marvel's rather dismal Iron Fist), and the fact that like the third film, this one was filmed entirely in Bulgaria with an all British cast doing shit American accents, there really is nothing worth mentioning apart from the blood, tits, painted sausages, and maybe the bit where two unlucky chaps get mowed to death.
3.5/10
Pallet's boobs make a welcome appearance in Part 6.
But first, this...
DAY #16
WRONG TURN 5: BLOODLINE
(2012)
Four sequels down the line and it's obvious that the Wrong Turn series has long since given up even attempting to maintain any sense of continuity or sense within its own timeline. Now, in this fourth and obviously direct to DVD sequel, the inexplicable decision was made to re-introduce the toothless and virtually pointless old man from the first two films and make him a central figure. This time though, instead of an old, dentally challenged yee-haw, we have someone called Maynard Odets played by the very English Doug Bradley (Pinhead from Hellraiser), a serial killer father figure to the three Hillicker brothers. Oh yes, sorry, I forgot to mention the happy little mutants were given a completely unnecessary family name in the last movie. Anyway, Odets spends most of his time saying "focking" and his entire character barely makes any sense at all. Mind you, at this point in Wrong Turn Land, nothing makes any sense any more. Even the fourth film looks like it may actually have been some kind of reboot now.
After being arrested while trying to kill some dispensable teenager morons, Odets is thrown in the town jail where for the next hour of the film he repeatedly, and with irritating smugness, proceeds to tell everybody within earshot that "you're all going to focking die". Meanwhile, the three brothers come down from the hills to rescue him, shutting off the town's power in the middle of a music festival, and killing everyone with bouncy boobies and/or a speaking part.
Continuing down the road to torture porn, there really is nothing of any value here at all. While the original actually managed to be scary in places, and the second had a handful of decent characters (as did the third, but to a much lesser extent), parts 4 and 5 don't even have that. Each character is introduced purely for the sake of being killed as ridiculously as possible. No scares and no shocks, just (occasionally amusing) impractical and prolonged murder set-pieces. Over the course of two short films, the once scary inbreds are reduced to being nothing more than particularly mean-spirited hillbilly versions of Wile E Coyote.
So, apart from an early appearance by a largely untalented Finn Jones (Marvel's rather dismal Iron Fist), and the fact that like the third film, this one was filmed entirely in Bulgaria with an all British cast doing shit American accents, there really is nothing worth mentioning apart from the blood, tits, painted sausages, and maybe the bit where two unlucky chaps get mowed to death.
3.5/10