movies

Put the world to rights here (off-topic discussion)
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Darkweasel
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Re: movies

Postby Darkweasel » Sat Feb 19, 2011 4:03 pm

PRISONERS OF THE LOST UNIVERSE

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The year is 1983.
Battlestar Galactica has finished and Richard Hatch is out of work...

"I'll take anything", says Richard, running nervous fingers through his famously luxuriant dark hair, trying to remain in control of his emotions but exuding more than the merest whiff of desperation from his once proud figure.
His agent smiles apologetically before stammering his way through the sentence which will ultimately cost him his job. "I, er... have this for you, Richard". He stops for a moment to dab at his forehead with a handkerchief already damp from nervous sweat. "It's called 'Prisoners of the Last, sorry... Lost Universe'. What do you think"?
The haggard looking ex-TV star looks sorrowfully at the script, remembering the good old days of brown uniforms, Dirk Benedict, kissing Jane Seymour, and evading Cylon Centurions blasting him with lasers. Then, after recollecting the state of his dwindling finances, he swallows, closes his eyes and says, "I'll do it. God help me, I'll do it".

And that is how Prisoners of the Lost Universe came to pass (with John Saxon having virtually the same conversation with his soon-to-be-fired agent aswell).
Probably.

Hatch and cheap Farrah Fawcett-alike Kay Lenz disappear through a mad scientist's inter-dimensional gate into a parallel universe (which isn't all that parallel tbf) inhabited by mute giants, a green native American (sorry, native Vanyan) a cheery Irish/Scottish/English (depending on whichever line he's speaking at the time) thief, giant gold warriors, megalomaniacal overlords who laugh evilly at everything, and small, but very angry, stripy pygmies wearing owl masks with flashing red eyes.

Bad actors act badly, bad lines are spoken badly, bad visual effects are used badly (and have not aged at all well), comedy sound effects are employed with completely non-hilarious results and awful bad guys get their painfully convoluted come-uppances.
The music score demands special attention, being part Superman, part Shaft. Quite the combination, I can tell you.
Also, I think the sound mixer had a stroke halfway through the movie because suddenly, and for no reason, everybody's voice suddenly drops about a semitone and they sound really quite odd for the remainder of the film.

A truly terrible film with only one question hanging over it. Why, if it was so utterly awful, did I want to watch it all over again the moment it ended?

0/10 & 10/10 at the same time.
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Soze
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Re: movies

Postby Soze » Sun Feb 20, 2011 11:22 am

kle110 wrote:Just downloaded a bunch of horror films. The Crazies looks good! And watched Splice, it's alright, besides the weird sex..


Depends which version of The Crazies you`ve downloaded. The original 1973 George Romero film is rubbish, seems *ahem* crazy to think he was only a few years away from making one of the greatest films of all time. I don`t think I got half way through before giving up.

The recent remake is, I guess, slightly better. In the fact that I made it just over half way through before switching it off.

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Re: movies

Postby ANDREWHALL28 » Sun Feb 20, 2011 11:44 am

Just seen The king's Speech , loved every second of it , and True Grit was good too , not sure whether it was supposed to be a comedy but i laughed quite a bit

Black Dynamite though , i bought that the other day and was in stitches you have to see this film

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Re: movies

Postby Chugging Pus » Sun Feb 20, 2011 12:11 pm

As I am about 10 years behind the world when it comes to films. Is the film 'Snatch' worth watching?
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Big D
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Re: movies

Postby Big D » Sun Feb 20, 2011 12:18 pm

Darkweasel wrote:PRISONERS OF THE LOST UNIVERSE

Image

The year is 1983.
Battlestar Galactica has finished and Richard Hatch is out of work...

"I'll take anything", says Richard, running nervous fingers through his famously luxuriant dark hair, trying to remain in control of his emotions but exuding more than the merest whiff of desperation from his once proud figure.
His agent smiles apologetically before stammering his way through the sentence which will ultimately cost him his job. "I, er... have this for you, Richard". He stops for a moment to dab at his forehead with a handkerchief already damp from nervous sweat. "It's called 'Prisoners of the Last, sorry... Lost Universe'. What do you think"?
The haggard looking ex-TV star looks sorrowfully at the script, remembering the good old days of brown uniforms, Dirk Benedict, kissing Jane Seymour, and evading Cylon Centurions blasting him with lasers. Then, after recollecting the state of his dwindling finances, he swallows, closes his eyes and says, "I'll do it. God help me, I'll do it".

And that is how Prisoners of the Lost Universe came to pass (with John Saxon having virtually the same conversation with his soon-to-be-fired agent aswell).
Probably.

Hatch and cheap Farrah Fawcett-alike Kay Lenz disappear through a mad scientist's inter-dimensional gate into a parallel universe (which isn't all that parallel tbf) inhabited by mute giants, a green native American (sorry, native Vanyan) a cheery Irish/Scottish/English (depending on whichever line he's speaking at the time) thief, giant gold warriors, megalomaniacal overlords who laugh evilly at everything, and small, but very angry, stripy pygmies wearing owl masks with flashing red eyes.

Bad actors act badly, bad lines are spoken badly, bad visual effects are used badly (and have not aged at all well), comedy sound effects are employed with completely non-hilarious results and awful bad guys get their painfully convoluted come-uppances.
The music score demands special attention, being part Superman, part Shaft. Quite the combination, I can tell you.
Also, I think the sound mixer had a stroke halfway through the movie because suddenly, and for no reason, everybody's voice suddenly drops about a semitone and they sound really quite odd for the remainder of the film.

A truly terrible film with only one question hanging over it. Why, if it was so utterly awful, did I want to watch it all over again the moment it ended?

0/10 & 10/10 at the same time.

There really should be more 80s B Movies released on DVD.

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Re: movies

Postby bisto » Sun Feb 20, 2011 12:26 pm

I enjoyed the King's Speech but am I the only one who is puzzled by the level of adulation and hyperbole being lavished on it? Perhaps I'm just turning into a miserable old curmudgeon but although its undoubtedly very good I don't think its any better than a decent Merchant Ivory film and was Colin Firth really that brilliant or is it just "his year"?. Maybe I should go and see it again?

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Re: movies

Postby ANDREWHALL28 » Sun Feb 20, 2011 12:47 pm

I think possibly because it is completely different to anything else in the cinema the past 12 months , and it is very well acted , I have to say i have no problems with the King's Speech getting awards , at least it isn't a sequel of an FX marathon

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Re: movies

Postby bisto » Sun Feb 20, 2011 1:19 pm

ANDREWHALL28 wrote:I think possibly because it is completely different to anything else in the cinema the past 12 months , and it is very well acted , I have to say i have no problems with the King's Speech getting awards , at least it isn't a sequel of an FX marathon


I suppose there might be an element of good timing involved and like I said I do think its very good......I guess I just can't stand the hype machine and the whole ego driven, sycophancy dependent hypocrisy and falsehood of the industry in general. I despise all that! All the false humility and sucking up to people who they would probably cheerfully see dead. Whenever these awards ceremonies come out you simply can't avoid the media coverage and hype. It makes my skin crawl.

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Re: movies

Postby ANDREWHALL28 » Sun Feb 20, 2011 3:31 pm

To be fair the actors and actresses tend to hate this time of year aswell going on their interviews etc

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Re: movies

Postby Luke_X » Sun Feb 20, 2011 3:50 pm

more news from Spiderman. producer Avi Arad has said that the new film will not be a reboot as such but will try and take place between each of the previous films with the new one taking place before the first film in some sequences.

so how Spiderman goes from having skin webshooters to mechanical ones and back again is unknown, but it looks like they are a bit scared to admit to rebooting the whole franchise to cash in on the current rise of superhero movies, esepcially with their big Avenger's fillm due next year. all this says to me is that it is going to be aweful and they are trying to cover their arses.

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Re: movies

Postby kle110 » Sun Feb 20, 2011 5:59 pm

Soze wrote:
kle110 wrote:Just downloaded a bunch of horror films. The Crazies looks good! And watched Splice, it's alright, besides the weird sex..


Depends which version of The Crazies you`ve downloaded. The original 1973 George Romero film is rubbish, seems *ahem* crazy to think he was only a few years away from making one of the greatest films of all time. I don`t think I got half way through before giving up.

The recent remake is, I guess, slightly better. In the fact that I made it just over half way through before switching it off.


It's the new one, I'm only halfway through so far as well, but turned off for a different reason, but I think it's pretty good! Nice deaths :P Reminds me too much of Blindness and other films though with the epidemic thing. Could be better.

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Aaaarrrrgggghhhh
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Re: movies

Postby Aaaarrrrgggghhhh » Mon Feb 21, 2011 11:07 am

Reviews attempt 2. The edited versions, thanks to crappy forum I can't be arsed to type it all again

Confessions - Japanese thriller. Dark, visually stunning, well written & thought provoking look at revenge, death, conscience & culpability. 9/10.
__________________________________________________________

Paul - Silly fun, perfect for the Americans. Decent script, just about saved by Pegg, but obviously written by two friends having a laugh & it suffers by having 'mate' humour in it, rather than as a clever homage. The Director also rushes through most of the good jokes & maybe didn't understand half the references.

If this had have been Pegg + Wright again, it would have been a better film but probably not as popular, as it's more of a beer filled, brain off movie. Sci-Fi fans will be amused by the references, also cameos & supporting cast are brilliant. Overall it's harmless enjoyable fun & I hope Simon & Nick make lots of money from it, 7/10.

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Re: movies

Postby Johnny Tightlips » Mon Feb 21, 2011 11:12 am

Chugging Pus wrote:As I am about 10 years behind the world when it comes to films. Is the film 'Snatch' worth watching?


No. Lock Stock was good, but Snatch was terrible.

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Re: movies

Postby Aaaarrrrgggghhhh » Mon Feb 21, 2011 11:36 am

Johnny Tightlips wrote:
Chugging Pus wrote:As I am about 10 years behind the world when it comes to films. Is the film 'Snatch' worth watching?


No. Lock Stock was good, but Snatch was terrible.



NO.

Guy Richie is utterly shit.

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Re: movies

Postby GetToTheChoppar » Mon Feb 21, 2011 12:10 pm

Aaaarrrrgggghhhh wrote:
Johnny Tightlips wrote:
Chugging Pus wrote:As I am about 10 years behind the world when it comes to films. Is the film 'Snatch' worth watching?


No. Lock Stock was good, but Snatch was terrible.



NO.

Guy Richie is utterly shit.

Whoa. Let's take it back a step.

Richie directed Lock, Stock.
Lock, Stock is amazing.
Therefore Richie must have at least a small amount of amazing in bedded within somewhere.
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