A free-for-all thread

Put the world to rights here (off-topic discussion)
User avatar
Samildanach
Leather Rebel
Posts: 1007
Joined: Thu Apr 22, 2004 9:46 am
Location: Gwynedd, North Wales
Contact:

Postby Samildanach » Mon Sep 13, 2004 8:41 pm

I don't know where you can get copyright, but I know it is indeed expensive.

Kolyma
Slayer of Wimps/Posers
Posts: 932
Joined: Wed Mar 31, 2004 7:21 pm
Location: Notlob, England...Or Chef-Field.

Postby Kolyma » Mon Sep 13, 2004 8:48 pm

One of my mates said something about getting whatever it is sent to yourself, registered post so it's stamped, and not opening it. not sure if that's right, though, or how exactly that works :?
It can't rain all the time...
Dukkadukkadukkadukka...Metaaaaaal!

User avatar
Jonoleth
Denim Demon
Posts: 4246
Joined: Thu Apr 01, 2004 1:43 pm
Location: Leeds
Contact:

Postby Jonoleth » Mon Sep 13, 2004 9:21 pm

Kolyma is right, thats the simplest form of copyright, get somethinhg sent to yourself and dont open it, that is proof that you are the producer of said work as the post office will date it and what not, it is however a flimsy form of copyright, but it will hold up in most simple arenas of competition...
Image

User avatar
Jonoleth
Denim Demon
Posts: 4246
Joined: Thu Apr 01, 2004 1:43 pm
Location: Leeds
Contact:

Postby Jonoleth » Tue Sep 14, 2004 10:00 am

Things that make us Men Men... True Virism...

1, OPENING JARS - nnng, she's struggling. You take it from her hands, open
it effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn't. Jars are
men's work.

2, CALLING SOMEONE 'SON' - Especially policeman but even saying it to kids
makes you the man.

3, DOING A PROPER SLIDE TACKLE - Beckham free kicks? Gay. A Stuart Pearce
tackle is the pinnacle of the game, simultaneously winning the ball and
crippling the man. Magic.

4, SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A STANLEY KNIFE - Blunt, is it? Hand it here
love. No, I don't need a sharpener, you think I can't whittle.

5, GOING TO THE TIP - A manly act which combines driving, lifting and - as
you thrillingly drop your rubbish into another huge pile of other rubbish -
noisy destruction.

6, DRINKING UP - Specifically, rising from the table, slinging your coat on
and downing two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then nodding towards
the door, saying, "Let's go" and striding out while everyone else struggles
to catch up with you. God, you're hard.

7, HAVING A THIN BIT OF WOOD - in the shed, solely to stir paint with.

8, HAVING A SCAR - Ideally it'll be a facial knife wound, but even an iron
burn on the wrist is good. "Ooh, did it hurt". "Nah".

9, HAVING A HANGOVER AND THICK STUBBLE - When birds have been partying they
just whinge. You, on the other hand have physical evidence of your hardness,
sprouting from your face. "Big night?" Grr, what does it look like.

10, NODDING AT COPPERS - A moments eye contact is all it takes for you to
share the unspoken bond. "We've not seen eye to eye in the past", it says,
"but someone's got to keep the little scrotes in line".

11, USING POWER TOOLS - slightly more powerful than you need or can safely
handle. Pneumatic drilling while smoking a fag? Superb.

12, KICKING A FOOTY AGAINST A GARAGE DOOR - Clang-g-g-g-g-g-! Stitch that
becks, I kick so hard I set off car alarms.

13, ARRIVING IN A PUB LATE... and everyone cheers you. It doesn't mean
you're popular, it just means your mates are pissed. However, the rest of
the pub doesn't know that.

14, NOT WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT - fat is a feminist issue, apparently.
Brilliant. Pass the pork scratchings.

15, CARVING THE ROAST - and saying "are you a leg or breast man" to the
blokes and "do you want stuffing" to the women. Congratulations, you are now
your dad.

16, WINKING - turns women to putty. Doesn't it?

17, TEST SWINGING HAMMERS - ideally, B&Q would have little changing rooms
with mirrors so you could see how rugged you look with any DIY item. Until
then, we'll make do with the aisles.

18, TAKING OUT £200 FROM A CASHPOINT - okay, so its for paying the plumber
later but with that much cash you feel like a mafia don. The only thing
better is peeling notes off the roll later.

19, PHONE CALLS THAT LAST LESS THAN A MINUTE - unlike birds, we get straight
to the point. "alright? Yep. Drink? Red lion? George, it is then. Seven. See
ya."

20, PARALLEL PARKING - bosh, straight in. first time. Can Schumacher do
that? No, because his cars got no reverse gear which, technically, makes you
the worlds best driver.

21, HAVING EARNED THAT PINT - Since the dawn of time, men have toiled in the
fields in blistering heat. Why? So, when it's over we can stand there in
silence, surveying our work with one hand resting on the beer gut while the
other nurses a foaming jug of ale. Aaaah.

22, HAVING SOMETHING PROPERLY WRONG WITH YOU - especially if you didn't make
a fuss. "Why was I off, nothing much, just a brain haemorrhage".

23, KNOWING WHICH SCREWDRIVER IS WHICH - "a Phillips? For that? Are you mad,
bint?"

24, TAKING A NEWSPAPER INTO THE LOO - a visual code that says that's right,
i'm going in there for a huge, long man-sized sh*t.

25, CALLING YOUR MATE A C*NT - and punching him on the shoulder. Just a
man's way of saying "you're a good mate; I missed you while you were in
hospital".
Image

User avatar
Samildanach
Leather Rebel
Posts: 1007
Joined: Thu Apr 22, 2004 9:46 am
Location: Gwynedd, North Wales
Contact:

Postby Samildanach » Tue Sep 14, 2004 10:09 am

:lol: :lol: Funniest thing I've read in a while, thanks Jono.

User avatar
IronEagle
Hell Bent for Leather
Posts: 2724
Joined: Wed Mar 31, 2004 6:40 pm
Location: Wigan.
Contact:

Postby IronEagle » Tue Sep 14, 2004 10:35 am

classic :rofl:

User avatar
Fatboy
Paster of Muppets
Posts: 1709
Joined: Wed Mar 31, 2004 9:33 pm
Location: The Bloodstock Signing Tent
Contact:

Postby Fatboy » Tue Sep 14, 2004 12:22 pm

Jonoleth wrote:14, NOT WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT - fat is a feminist issue, apparently.
Brilliant. Pass the pork scratchings.
:D yes!
now im happy

User avatar
Jonoleth
Denim Demon
Posts: 4246
Joined: Thu Apr 01, 2004 1:43 pm
Location: Leeds
Contact:

Postby Jonoleth » Tue Sep 14, 2004 12:40 pm

Go here for more info on the Virist cause. A small and unfinished site but informative in its completed areas... Don't bother if your a 56k pleb, it'll take about an hour to load...
Image

User avatar
lars_ulrichs_blister
Denim Demon
Posts: 6210
Joined: Fri Jun 11, 2004 11:46 am
Location: Birkenhead, Wirral
Contact:

Postby lars_ulrichs_blister » Tue Sep 14, 2004 2:22 pm

Jonoleth wrote:Things that make us Men Men... True Virism...


3, DOING A PROPER SLIDE TACKLE - Beckham free kicks? Gay. A Stuart Pearce
tackle is the pinnacle of the game, simultaneously winning the ball and
crippling the man. Magic.

".


RAWK!! Stuart Pearce, the hardest fotballer ever and the only man i know to walk off a foot ball pitch with a broken leg...solid.

\00/ LUB \00/
If God is black then he is Samuel L Jackson

Image

Xzar
Denim Demon
Posts: 4109
Joined: Wed Mar 31, 2004 9:27 pm

Postby Xzar » Tue Sep 14, 2004 4:06 pm

Virism may be comedy, but just remember there's a true cause behind it all! There are many fields where women get paid more than men, prostitution for example... both the man and the woman end up with the same product, so why does the woman get paid? it's a terrible state of affairs...



:eyes:


:lol:

Xzar
Denim Demon
Posts: 4109
Joined: Wed Mar 31, 2004 9:27 pm

Postby Xzar » Tue Sep 14, 2004 4:10 pm

Just adding to this copyright stuff, I know that to get something patented means it's yours whoever the hell might have done it first, patenting costs around £200 I think. Alexander Graham Bell 'invented' the telephone because he stole the idea off someone else who brought it into the patent office where he worked!
Last edited by Xzar on Sat Jan 14, 2012 1:25 am, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Jonoleth
Denim Demon
Posts: 4246
Joined: Thu Apr 01, 2004 1:43 pm
Location: Leeds
Contact:

Postby Jonoleth » Tue Sep 14, 2004 4:13 pm

Xzar wrote:both the man and the woman end up with the same product


What, herpes?
Image

User avatar
Dream Thief
Hell Bent for Leather
Posts: 2379
Joined: Thu Apr 01, 2004 5:29 pm
Location: West Yorkshire
Contact:

Postby Dream Thief » Tue Sep 14, 2004 4:14 pm

:lol: That list is class!! :yes:
Go now brave warrior don't look back
the stars will guide you through the night
Image

User avatar
Lisa McNally
Rock Society Lead
Posts: 5748
Joined: Wed Mar 31, 2004 6:14 pm
Location: Hartlepool

Postby Lisa McNally » Tue Sep 14, 2004 4:55 pm

Jonoleth wrote:Things that make us Men Men... True Virism...


Ha ... what a load of bollocks! My responses are as follows ....

Jonoleth wrote:1, OPENING JARS - nnng, she's struggling. You take it from her hands, open
it effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn't. Jars are
men's work.


Well we manage to open them in this house without a man!

Jonoleth wrote:2, CALLING SOMEONE 'SON' - Especially policeman but even saying it to kids
makes you the man.


Just sounds plain condescending in my book!

Jonoleth wrote:3, DOING A PROPER SLIDE TACKLE - Beckham free kicks? Gay. A Stuart Pearce
tackle is the pinnacle of the game, simultaneously winning the ball and
crippling the man. Magic.


And then you'll complain about your injuries for an insufferably long time ... and expect sympathy whhich you won't get!

Jonoleth wrote:4, SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A STANLEY KNIFE - Blunt, is it? Hand it here
love. No, I don't need a sharpener, you think I can't whittle.


I have a Stanley knife and I can use it! :evillaff:

Jonoleth wrote:5, GOING TO THE TIP - A manly act which combines driving, lifting and - as
you thrillingly drop your rubbish into another huge pile of other rubbish -
noisy destruction.


Yes ... I do this on a regular basis also ... whilst putting up with the wolf whistles from the guys who work at the tip! :rolleyes:

Jonoleth wrote:6, DRINKING UP - Specifically, rising from the table, slinging your coat on
and downing two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then nodding towards
the door, saying, "Let's go" and striding out while everyone else struggles
to catch up with you. God, you're hard.


:rolleyes: Obviously got something to prove .... and failing miserably...

Jonoleth wrote:7, HAVING A THIN BIT OF WOOD - in the shed, solely to stir paint with.

Yep I have one of those .....

Jonoleth wrote:8, HAVING A SCAR - Ideally it'll be a facial knife wound, but even an iron
burn on the wrist is good. "Ooh, did it hurt". "Nah".


Yep... have a large one of those!

Jonoleth wrote:9, HAVING A HANGOVER AND THICK STUBBLE - When birds have been partying they
just whinge. You, on the other hand have physical evidence of your hardness,
sprouting from your face. "Big night?" Grr, what does it look like.


:rolleyes: It's really lazyness coz you can't be arsed to shave coz you feel crap!

Jonoleth wrote:10, NODDING AT COPPERS - A moments eye contact is all it takes for you to
share the unspoken bond. "We've not seen eye to eye in the past", it says,
"but someone's got to keep the little scrotes in line".


You've got a guilty conscience..... but you're trying to face it out!

Jonoleth wrote:11, USING POWER TOOLS - slightly more powerful than you need or can safely
handle. Pneumatic drilling while smoking a fag? Superb.


Give the job to a woman and she could operate two power tools at one! I can..... ;)

Jonoleth wrote:12, KICKING A FOOTY AGAINST A GARAGE DOOR - Clang-g-g-g-g-g-! Stitch that
becks, I kick so hard I set off car alarms.


Just downright juvenile!

Jonoleth wrote:13, ARRIVING IN A PUB LATE... and everyone cheers you. It doesn't mean
you're popular, it just means your mates are pissed. However, the rest of
the pub doesn't know that.


And you don't have to buy the round in!

Jonoleth wrote:14, NOT WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT - fat is a feminist issue, apparently.
Brilliant. Pass the pork scratchings.


And this is why women live longer than men!

Jonoleth wrote:15, CARVING THE ROAST - and saying "are you a leg or breast man" to the
blokes and "do you want stuffing" to the women. Congratulations, you are now
your dad.


With matching cardi and slippers .... :lol:


Jonoleth wrote:16, WINKING - turns women to putty. Doesn't it?


No ...we just think you have a twitch!

Jonoleth wrote:17, TEST SWINGING HAMMERS - ideally, B&Q would have little changing rooms
with mirrors so you could see how rugged you look with any DIY item. Until
then, we'll make do with the aisles.


So that women can observe how not to do it!

Jonoleth wrote:18, TAKING OUT £200 FROM A CASHPOINT - okay, so its for paying the plumber
later but with that much cash you feel like a mafia don. The only thing
better is peeling notes off the roll later.


£ 200 is a damn cheap plumber ..... can you give me his number!


Jonoleth wrote:19, PHONE CALLS THAT LAST LESS THAN A MINUTE - unlike birds, we get straight
to the point. "alright? Yep. Drink? Red lion? George, it is then. Seven. See
ya."


Why phone when a text will do?


Jonoleth wrote:20, PARALLEL PARKING - bosh, straight in. first time. Can Schumacher do
that? No, because his cars got no reverse gear which, technically, makes you
the worlds best driver.


Whilst swearing ....... loudly ...and gesticulating at the person who you perceive to be also wanting the space!



Jonoleth wrote:21, HAVING EARNED THAT PINT - Since the dawn of time, men have toiled in the
fields in blistering heat. Why? So, when it's over we can stand there in
silence, surveying our work with one hand resting on the beer gut while the
other nurses a foaming jug of ale. Aaaah.


Provided by women......

Jonoleth wrote:22, HAVING SOMETHING PROPERLY WRONG WITH YOU - especially if you didn't make
a fuss. "Why was I off, nothing much, just a brain haemorrhage".


And making sure that the entire office knows about it so you can get plenty of sympathy ...cups of coffee and choccie bics!


Jonoleth wrote:23, KNOWING WHICH SCREWDRIVER IS WHICH - "a Phillips? For that? Are you mad,
bint?"


:rolleyes: Yep...all in a days repairs.... I know my tools! ;)

Jonoleth wrote:24, TAKING A NEWSPAPER INTO THE LOO - a visual code that says that's right,
i'm going in there for a huge, long man-sized sh*t.


And we've no loo roll.......cheap skate!

Jonoleth wrote:25, CALLING YOUR MATE A C*NT - and punching him on the shoulder. Just a
man's way of saying "you're a good mate; I missed you while you were in
hospital".


Giving him a dead arm .... and showing that your mastery of the English language is entirely lacking.....



Thanks Jono .... I enjoyed that ...I needed cheering up....... :D

User avatar
Metal Dog
Consort of the Beast
Posts: 226
Joined: Wed Mar 31, 2004 7:50 pm
Location: Leicestershire, U.K.

Postby Metal Dog » Tue Sep 14, 2004 6:10 pm

Jonoleth wrote:Things that make us Men Men... True Virism...

1, OPENING JARS - nnng, she's struggling. You take it from her hands, open
it effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn't. Jars are
men's work.

2, CALLING SOMEONE 'SON' - Especially policeman but even saying it to kids
makes you the man.

3, DOING A PROPER SLIDE TACKLE - Beckham free kicks? Gay. A Stuart Pearce
tackle is the pinnacle of the game, simultaneously winning the ball and
crippling the man. Magic.

4, SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A STANLEY KNIFE - Blunt, is it? Hand it here
love. No, I don't need a sharpener, you think I can't whittle.

5, GOING TO THE TIP - A manly act which combines driving, lifting and - as
you thrillingly drop your rubbish into another huge pile of other rubbish -
noisy destruction.

6, DRINKING UP - Specifically, rising from the table, slinging your coat on
and downing two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then nodding towards
the door, saying, "Let's go" and striding out while everyone else struggles
to catch up with you. God, you're hard.

7, HAVING A THIN BIT OF WOOD - in the shed, solely to stir paint with.

8, HAVING A SCAR - Ideally it'll be a facial knife wound, but even an iron
burn on the wrist is good. "Ooh, did it hurt". "Nah".

9, HAVING A HANGOVER AND THICK STUBBLE - When birds have been partying they
just whinge. You, on the other hand have physical evidence of your hardness,
sprouting from your face. "Big night?" Grr, what does it look like.

10, NODDING AT COPPERS - A moments eye contact is all it takes for you to
share the unspoken bond. "We've not seen eye to eye in the past", it says,
"but someone's got to keep the little scrotes in line".

11, USING POWER TOOLS - slightly more powerful than you need or can safely
handle. Pneumatic drilling while smoking a fag? Superb.

12, KICKING A FOOTY AGAINST A GARAGE DOOR - Clang-g-g-g-g-g-! Stitch that
becks, I kick so hard I set off car alarms.

13, ARRIVING IN A PUB LATE... and everyone cheers you. It doesn't mean
you're popular, it just means your mates are pissed. However, the rest of
the pub doesn't know that.

14, NOT WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT - fat is a feminist issue, apparently.
Brilliant. Pass the pork scratchings.

15, CARVING THE ROAST - and saying "are you a leg or breast man" to the
blokes and "do you want stuffing" to the women. Congratulations, you are now
your dad.

16, WINKING - turns women to putty. Doesn't it?

17, TEST SWINGING HAMMERS - ideally, B&Q would have little changing rooms
with mirrors so you could see how rugged you look with any DIY item. Until
then, we'll make do with the aisles.

18, TAKING OUT £200 FROM A CASHPOINT - okay, so its for paying the plumber
later but with that much cash you feel like a mafia don. The only thing
better is peeling notes off the roll later.

19, PHONE CALLS THAT LAST LESS THAN A MINUTE - unlike birds, we get straight
to the point. "alright? Yep. Drink? Red lion? George, it is then. Seven. See
ya."

20, PARALLEL PARKING - bosh, straight in. first time. Can Schumacher do
that? No, because his cars got no reverse gear which, technically, makes you
the worlds best driver.

21, HAVING EARNED THAT PINT - Since the dawn of time, men have toiled in the
fields in blistering heat. Why? So, when it's over we can stand there in
silence, surveying our work with one hand resting on the beer gut while the
other nurses a foaming jug of ale. Aaaah.

22, HAVING SOMETHING PROPERLY WRONG WITH YOU - especially if you didn't make
a fuss. "Why was I off, nothing much, just a brain haemorrhage".

23, KNOWING WHICH SCREWDRIVER IS WHICH - "a Phillips? For that? Are you mad,
bint?"

24, TAKING A NEWSPAPER INTO THE LOO - a visual code that says that's right,
i'm going in there for a huge, long man-sized sh*t.

25, CALLING YOUR MATE A C*NT - and punching him on the shoulder. Just a
man's way of saying "you're a good mate; I missed you while you were in
hospital".


O.K. what does it make me then 'cause around 50% of these apply quite well to me.
We wake up the next morning with stuble as well you know but ours is covered up :lol:
As for the screwdriver thing, does a drill count? I remember a time I had to explain to a guy the reason his drill was having very little effect on the wall was because he wasn't using a masonary bit :lol:
Also about seven years ago I was at a friends house and her brother was building a small wall around their patio he was shoveling sand or somthing out of a bag into a bucket to mix with water I said why don't you just lift it and tip it? (bearing in mind he was about twice my size) He said somthing along the lines of do you know how much these bags weigh? and you're free to try if you want so I stepped forward lifted the bag and poured it into the bucket put the bag down and asked him (in a completly innocent tone of course) is that enough or did you need a bit more? I like being able to get one over on men now and again :D
I visualise the cold reality, But if I don't try,
The answer dies inside of me
Poison - Blind Faith