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Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 9:38 pm
by Jonoleth
Ross wrote:Is this matt again? :rolleyes: :lol:

Not Matt of Fig Roll fame no...

Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 9:39 pm
by Ross
alliteration whore

Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 10:51 pm
by Xzar
Fig Rolls own my face.

Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 10:52 pm
by Jonoleth
Xzar wrote:Fig Rolls own my face.

They own everyones faces.

Known fact.

Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 11:01 pm
by Xzar

Funniest thing I've seen in AGES;

Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 12:01 am
by Ross
christ on a stick! :o :o :o

Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 2:10 am
by Black Utopia
"would you like to sign up for my summer camp?"

LOL :lol:

Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 3:00 am
by Xzar
I like the bit with the high 5 the best :lol:

Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 3:29 pm
by Dream Thief
That's brilliant! :lol: :lol:

Posted: Fri Jun 02, 2006 5:42 pm
by Xzar

Posted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 11:17 pm
by Sherry
There's always one. This has got to be one of the
funniest things in a

long time. I think this guy should have been
promoted, not fired. This

is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which
was transcribed

from a recording monitoring the customer care
department. Needless to

say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she
is currently

suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination
without Cause".

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer
Support employee.

(Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I
help you?"

Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with

Operator: "What sort of trouble??"

Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a
sudden the words

went away."

Operator: "Went away?"

Caller: "They disappeared."

Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like

Caller: "Nothing."

Operator: "Nothing??"

Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I

Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you
get out??"

Caller: "How do I tell?"

Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"

Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"

Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor
around the screen?"

Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't
accept anything

I type."

Operator: "Does your monitor have a power

Caller: "What's a monitor?"

Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that
looks like a TV.

Does it have a little light that tells you when it's

Caller: "I don't know."

Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor
and find where

the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"

Caller: "Yes, I think so."

Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and
tell me if it's

plugged into the wall.

Caller: "Yes, it is."

Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you
notice that there

were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just

Caller: "No."

Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back
there again and

find the other cable."

Caller: "Okay, here it is."

Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's
plugged securely into

the back of your computer."

Caller: "I can't reach."

Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"

Caller: "No."

Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on
something and lean way


Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right
angle - it's

because it's dark."

Operator: "Dark??"

Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only
light I have is

coming in from the window."

Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."

Caller: "I can't."

Operator: "No? Why not??"

Caller: "Because there's a power failure."

Operator: "A
power...................................... A power

failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you
still have the

boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer
came in??"

Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system
and pack it up

just like it was when you got it. Then take it back
to the store you

bought it from."

Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"

Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I
tell them??"

Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%king stupid to own
a computer!!!!!"

:lol: :lol:

Posted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 11:22 pm
by Twaddlefish
Awesome Sherry!

Posted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 11:30 pm
by Xzar
:lol: :lol: :lol:

It really was.

Posted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 11:42 pm
by Black Utopia
:lol: :lol: :lol: that was ace!

Posted: Tue Jun 06, 2006 12:43 pm
by Ross
I lawled all over the place. Had to clean it up after.