The Relationships Thread

Put the world to rights here (off-topic discussion)
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Danroush
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby Danroush » Wed Mar 14, 2012 11:01 pm

CrappyMike wrote:i dont think its necessarily about being an asshole, but you cant be a pushover and expect women to be fighting over you. you have to find a bit of a balance.



Essentially yeah, you have to come across as relaxed and not caring but then drop subtle hints that you actually do care about people and are actually a decent guy, but if you start off by being "Mr quiet nice guy" then it's unlikely to get you far as you'll come across boring a lot of the time
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby Delightful-Jim » Wed Mar 14, 2012 11:05 pm

Trappy666 wrote:I'm still trying to get my head around why some girls like assholes of guys, yet the nice, cool, thoughtful guys like me get left with fuck all? :lol:



Girls cannot tell the difference between confidence/charismatic with being an asshole. Coming across as confident and comfortable in yourself makes you look better to women than treating them like crap or being too nice. And being quiet is never good.
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby AnnihiSlateR » Wed Mar 14, 2012 11:08 pm

From talking to a girl (yeah it happens :lol: ) she seemed to imply that girls prefer guys to just be themselves, and not act tough, or caring, or shy or confidant or whatever, because it comes across as unnatural and is off-putting.
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby Trappy666 » Wed Mar 14, 2012 11:09 pm

I agree you shouldn't be a push over or stuff like that! it's more the fact that everyone knows they are a cunt yet they get all the girls! Makes us decent, normal, non-egotistical fellas look pathetic :lol:
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby Delightful-Jim » Wed Mar 14, 2012 11:09 pm

AnnihiSlateR wrote:From talking to a girl (yeah it happens :lol: ) she seemed to imply that girls prefer guys to just be themselves, and not act tough, or caring, or shy or confidant or whatever, because it comes across as unnatural and is off-putting.



Yeah...I'm an asshole so I don't do that :lol:
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby keera_envenomed » Wed Mar 14, 2012 11:45 pm

Trappy666 wrote:I agree you shouldn't be a push over or stuff like that! it's more the fact that everyone knows they are a cunt yet they get all the girls! Makes us decent, normal, non-egotistical fellas look pathetic :lol:


You have to look at what kind of girls these guys are getting though. Either they lack class or they are under the illusion that the guy isn't a cunt and they are somehow different and special.
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby Danroush » Wed Mar 14, 2012 11:52 pm

AnnihiSlateR wrote:From talking to a girl (yeah it happens :lol: ) she seemed to imply that girls prefer guys to just be themselves, and not act tough, or caring, or shy or confidant or whatever, because it comes across as unnatural and is off-putting.



Acting yourself will usually create a confident appearance anyway tbh
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby xBERSERKERx » Thu Mar 15, 2012 12:52 am

Being a cunt gets you what you want, being nice gets you fucked over, friendzoned and all that crap. Be a cunt and then when in a relationship, just be nice.
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby Littlemissmetal » Thu Mar 15, 2012 7:09 am

AnnihiSlateR wrote:From talking to a girl (yeah it happens :lol: ) she seemed to imply that girls prefer guys to just be themselves, and not act tough, or caring, or shy or confidant or whatever, because it comes across as unnatural and is off-putting.


Speaking as yet another girl - yes. Don't "try" anything, just be yourself and accept that some women won't like that, and others will. You can't like everybody, not everybody can like you. For me the most off-putting thing in the world is the "trying" aspect - as in trying to be something you're not.

keera_envenomed wrote:You have to look at what kind of girls these guys are getting though. Either they lack class or they are under the illusion that the guy isn't a cunt and they are somehow different and special.


Sadly mostly true.
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby Fjar » Thu Mar 15, 2012 8:41 am

If you let your natural good qualities shine through, girls will pick up on them. But it helps to be naturally funny or witty though. Having a first conversation with a bloke who's shy is off-putting.
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby peypea » Thu Mar 15, 2012 8:42 am

Delightful-Jim wrote:
Trappy666 wrote:I'm still trying to get my head around why some girls like assholes of guys, yet the nice, cool, thoughtful guys like me get left with fuck all? :lol:



Girls cannot tell the difference between confidence/charismatic with being an asshole.


You're obviously talking to a very high calibre of girls there.
Littlemissmetal wrote:
AnnihiSlateR wrote:From talking to a girl (yeah it happens :lol: ) she seemed to imply that girls prefer guys to just be themselves, and not act tough, or caring, or shy or confidant or whatever, because it comes across as unnatural and is off-putting.


Speaking as yet another girl - yes. Don't "try" anything, just be yourself and accept that some women won't like that, and others will. You can't like everybody, not everybody can like you. For me the most off-putting thing in the world is the "trying" aspect - as in trying to be something you're not.

keera_envenomed wrote:You have to look at what kind of girls these guys are getting though. Either they lack class or they are under the illusion that the guy isn't a cunt and they are somehow different and special.


Sadly mostly true.


Yeeees, I agree with all this.
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby Ndnd » Thu Mar 15, 2012 9:44 am

This probably doesn't apply to all women but it works for me. Obviously I'm married now so probably makes my point invalid, but I think I have always thought like this since I was young.

I find if a guy approaches me in a bar / on facebook / wherever or has shown interest I have zero interest at all. I only like people who do not show any interest, no compliments etc.

For example I like Chris as he does not panda to me, he rarely says I look nice (maybe I don't though) so there is still the excitement involved in making the effort to scrub up a bit when I go out with him. Yet when we are at gigs or pubs and people come over and start complimenting me it irritates the hell out of me.

If that makes sense.
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby herzeleid » Thu Mar 15, 2012 10:54 am

You hate yourself so get offended when complimented and want to spend the rest of your life being treated badly because it's what you feel you deserve?

That's not a particularly healthy way of living ya know...

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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby Ndnd » Thu Mar 15, 2012 11:23 am

I don't hate myself and I'm not treated badly :)
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby Jage » Thu Mar 15, 2012 11:43 am

CrappyMike wrote:i dont think its necessarily about being an asshole, but you cant be a pushover and expect women to be fighting over you. you have to find a bit of a balance.


I was having a very drunken conversation with a girl I know last weekend about this. I'm away atm (in central europe) and she was commenting on how I don't use my accent to get girls and saying that I should. She also said that I'm cute. I was like WAT. Cute? Then she was just laughing at how insecure and lacking confidence I am.

I just tend to make a bad first impression on them all by being shy and because I've always been shy, when I'm drunk enough to come out of my shell I'm a bit of a fail of a person and say terrible / outrageous things.


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