The Relationships Thread

[Littlemissmetal]

Look back through all your posts relating to this lady. You'll find that she's ditched you (although not without extreme circumstances), messed you about, called you names, accused you of things you say you haven't done and now (if I'm reading what you've just put correctly) lied to you.

Is this the sort of person you honestly want in your life? I'm aware it can be hard to let go, but I'd say she's given you a handful of quite good reasons to be glad she's out of your hair.

If you're finding it difficult to cope with, cease contact with her for a while until you have your head on a bit straighter. It may make it a bit easier for you

[tranmerefan]

The idea of trying to be something you're not to get into a relationship disgusts me. One of the biggest things I value in other people is honesty, so I'd be mortified if I ended up in a relationship with someone who had essentially been lying and covering up who they really were. What an insane thing to do.

Any partner who tries to change anything about who you are is not a partner you want. No excuses, no mitigating circumstances. Just so.

This. I spent my childhood trying to be someone I'm not to fit in so to speak so at the grand old age of 26 I don't hide aspects of my personality. I wouldn't want to be with someone who couldn't be themselves with me and I wouldn't feel comfortable having to put on an act for them.

Same with hobbies etc. I wouldn't ask anyone to give stuff up they enjoyed doing (reading/shit films/whatever) just like I don't want to give up my interests for anyone.

[kanet666]

Look back through all your posts relating to this lady. You'll find that she's ditched you (although not without extreme circumstances), messed you about, called you names, accused you of things you say you haven't done and now (if I'm reading what you've just put correctly) lied to you.

Is this the sort of person you honestly want in your life? I'm aware it can be hard to let go, but I'd say she's given you a handful of quite good reasons to be glad she's out of your hair.

If you're finding it difficult to cope with, cease contact with her for a while until you have your head on a bit straighter. It may make it a bit easier for you

I'd no intention of being in contact with her for a few weeks at least, but she sent the message to me. I know I should hate her, but for some reason there's something in my personality that finds it difficult to dislike or hate anyone. I can't even talk to the one person who knows about everything, because she is with her, and is apparently heavily intoxicated.

I don't understand why I'm struggling to shrug this one off so much, in the past it's been a lot easier.

[Littlemissmetal]

Sorry, I don't think I phrased that well - I didn't mean you should hate her. I only meant that it might be a way to look at it that would be helpful for you. You'll find your own way though, these things take time. Don't be too hard on yourself

[kanet666]

I know you didn't, sorry, I was reading quickly and it went through without me thinking right

I'd been feeling better the last few days, I really was, but now... I don't know how to describe it, it's just... weird. I'll get better I'm sure, I'm just hurting that's all.

Oh well, on with the heavy metal, that always takes my mind off of things

[Twaddlefish]

That's complete bullshit, kanet Hope you're okay dude.

Agree with everything that's been said. If you think you should change for someone else, or someone tries to change you, they aren't worth it. littlemissmetal knows I can be a pain in the arse but my sociopathic tendencies are all part of my charm. I think.

But yeah, fuck those guys. You're a lot better off removing yourself from that circle of people for now, if not indefinitely. Blowing off some steam in these situations doesn't hurt either,

[peypea]

Yeah, never ever change. The absolute dick that I was with a few years ago that I've mentioned on here tried to change me massively, and really did succeed in the fact that I was a weak shell of the person I had been. I got better though a while after that all ended! A healthy normal relationship soon after eventually helped me realise I wasn't as shit as I thought I was.
So yeah, never ever ever let anyone change you. If they don't like who you are then clearly it's not meant to be. It'll hurt you more than it'll benefit anyone, really. Other than fuelling the other persons superiority complex.

[Littlemissmetal]

my sociopathic tendencies are all part of my charm. I think.

Charm? Who told you you had that?

[Bisset]

Kanet I wouldn't overthink this in the slightest - cut all ties and move on. No one deserves this amount of shit.

[VirginInvader]

Aye, sounds like you need to go for a pint with the boys and move on man

[VizardAmata]

Yeah agree with what everyone has been saying to be honest. Cut off all contact with her, at least for a while... block her on FB or whatever if necessary so she can't message you. You need some space to get yourself sorted, and maybe once you feel a bit more sane you can think about trying to be friends.

Either way, if you're coming to BOA (I think you are but can't quite recall) you absolutely need to come to the forum meet and get smashed with us.

[Kaahl]

Ignore her completely. I'll be honest, from everything I've read, I doubt the veracity of the claims that led to her breaking up with you in the first place. I could be wrong, obviously, but either way, she's mental. Don't let her send you mental, too.

[kanet666]

I was doing fine until she messaged me, I think some time to myself is best, or at the very least, out of her way completely. I suppose this is what I get for putting everything into it and actually giving a damn. Oh well, the only way from here is up (or so I hope anyway ).

Either way, if you're coming to BOA (I think you are but can't quite recall) you absolutely need to come to the forum meet and get smashed with us.

Aye I am, can't wait to be honest, a weekend where I can get away from everything for a bit. It would be nice to meet a few of you lovely people too, so I may well pop along

[Noodle]

Good man. Block her on everything you can, change your number and only give it to those will need to contact. I'm glad you've felt you've been able to find solace here and apologise for the idiot who appears to find the entire thing funny. He's had his warning and is treading on extremely thin ice.

Good to hear you're going to join us for the forum meet and get smashed with us and I'm sure we'll see you right.

[Littlemissmetal]

Good man. Block her on everything you can, change your number and only give it to those will need to contact. I'm glad you've felt you've been able to find solace here and apologise for the idiot who appears to find the entire thing funny. He's had his warning and is treading on extremely thin ice.

Good to hear you're going to join us for the forum meet and get smashed with us and I'm sure we'll see you right.

Indeed, it'll be good to see you! also, please don't take the aforementioned idiot as being in any way a yardstick for the rest of us. The vast majority of the people on here are pleasant individuals!