The Relationships Thread

[Fjar]

Everyone has preferences. But you need to decide whether someone who decides if they want to be with you based on what clothes you wear and what piercings or tattoos you have is the kind of person you want to be with.

But changing yourself to fit someone else's preferences, purely in order to fulfil some kind of stereotype is a bit stupid, dude.

[VizardAmata]

Anyone who cares that much about how you dress is not worth your time, anyway. I personally don't give a fuck how someone chooses to dress, no matter their choice of music.

What matters is that you have a connection/stuff in common/can actually hold a decent conversation. While it's cool to have a preference for long hair (I do myself), I personally would not give the time of day to someone who put that above a decent personality.

TLDR: The only time you should make a major change in yourself is for YOUR happiness.

[keera_envenomed]

I am also a lady and what the above 2 ladies have said is spot on.

[NeglectedField]

Work on getting in shape and keeping your options open about potential partners instead. It'll put you in a good state of mind and you'll look more interesting to talk to than someone with spikes.

[Danroush]

Anyone who cares that much about how you dress is not worth your time, anyway. I personally don't give a fuck how someone chooses to dress, no matter their choice of music.

What matters is that you have a connection/stuff in common/can actually hold a decent conversation. While it's cool to have a preference for long hair (I do myself), I personally would not give the time of day to someone who put that above a decent personality.

TLDR: The only time you should make a major change in yourself is for YOUR happiness.

Gotta disagree here, at least on the first part. Sexual attraction is an important part of relationship, and that will be affected by how you dress/look from day to day. Now of course core personality is more important than aesthetics, but don't avoid caring about aesthetics altogether just because personality is more important in a 1:1 comparison.

This doesn't mean you should go for a drastic change in appearance either, mind. Just that if you do feel comfortable in more alt attire anyway, and have some spare money, just buy a pair or two of more alternative trousers for example, then throw them on once in a while, such as when going to a gig or festival etc.

Think of it this way. The fact that you're asking us this means you have some level of insecurity on the matter, so trying out some more alternative clothing (provided you pick something you like) will give you a confidence boost too!

[VizardAmata]

Anyone who cares that much about how you dress is not worth your time, anyway. I personally don't give a fuck how someone chooses to dress, no matter their choice of music.

What matters is that you have a connection/stuff in common/can actually hold a decent conversation. While it's cool to have a preference for long hair (I do myself), I personally would not give the time of day to someone who put that above a decent personality.

TLDR: The only time you should make a major change in yourself is for YOUR happiness.

Gotta disagree here, at least on the first part. Sexual attraction is an important part of relationship, and that will be affected by how you dress/look from day to day. Now of course core personality is more important than aesthetics, but don't avoid caring about aesthetics altogether just because personality is more important in a 1:1 comparison.

This doesn't mean you should go for a drastic change in appearance either, mind. Just that if you do feel comfortable in more alt attire anyway, and have some spare money, just buy a pair or two of more alternative trousers for example, then throw them on once in a while, such as when going to a gig or festival etc.

Think of it this way. The fact that you're asking us this means you have some level of insecurity on the matter, so trying out some more alternative clothing (provided you pick something you like) will give you a confidence boost too!

Well, obviously physical attraction is important, and how someone dresses plays into that. But I am of the opinion that if it makes you happy, it shouldn't really matter. As long as you don't smell IDGAF.

Physical attraction is important, of course, but I've always said: a pretty face will fade if the person underneath is ugly. I'm all for self change if you're unhappy with an element of yourself, I'm all for change that a partner helps you realise through honest, open discussion.

What I hate is someone literally behaving like a human chameleon, changing themselves almost entirely to be with someone. I have seen people do this, and it always ends poorly. So if you want to dress more alternative (I do myself, it's how I'm most comfortable) then do it for you.

[Danroush]

I'd say the key is small steps. Try it a little, see how you feel, then if it feels unnatural, go back, and if it feels right, keep going.

[VizardAmata]

I'd say the key is small steps. Try it a little, see how you feel, then if it feels unnatural, go back, and if it feels right, keep going.

I'd agree with this.

[Jobdone]

ITry it a little, see how you feel, then if it feels unnatural, go back, and if it feels right, keep going.

mau mau?

[VizardAmata]

[fluffymoo]

This really creepy guy has a major crush on me and thinks I'm interested. He feels I owe him because he's "a nice guy". Also I think he might've rubbed his boner (trousers on) against my sister the other night. She's been wanting to tell us the whole story but is too ashamed. I think I might be sick.

[peypea]

What the fuck. He needs to fuck right off . Give Malin a hug from me please, and then knife this guy in the dick.

[VizardAmata]

This really creepy guy has a major crush on me and thinks I'm interested. He feels I owe him because he's "a nice guy". Also I think he might've rubbed his boner (trousers on) against my sister the other night. She's been wanting to tell us the whole story but is too ashamed. I think I might be sick.

Jesus christ that's pretty horrifying. Stay far far far away!

[fluffymoo]

So yeah, can confirm that definitely happened. No mights or maybes. I got mum to talk to my sister but she lied and said nothing had really happened. Am I overreacting? I'm furious and feel ready to puke.

This guy is an old family friend and I know some people don't want to "cause a scene", but why the fuck am I the only one in my family who thinks he's a fucking creep for what he did? He's well aware that my sis is in a long term happy relationship. Help, guys. Am I being a drama queen here? Knowing my recent diagnosis I know a big part of it is that people like me tend to be super extra sensitive.

Ps. Sorry for bringing down the thread.

[tranmerefan]

So yeah, can confirm that definitely happened. No mights or maybes. I got mum to talk to my sister but she lied and said nothing had really happened. Am I overreacting? I'm furious and feel ready to puke.

This guy is an old family friend and I know some people don't want to "cause a scene", but why the fuck am I the only one in my family who thinks he's a fucking creep for what he did? He's well aware that my sis is in a long term happy relationship. Help, guys. Am I being a drama queen here? Knowing my recent diagnosis I know a big part of it is that people like me tend to be super extra sensitive.

Ps. Sorry for bringing down the thread.

No, you're not overreacting at all! I agree with the knife him in the dick comment, he deserves it.