The Relationships Thread

[Dream Thief]

I'm hooked on one girl, I'm not interested in anyone else but her and she's like one of my closest friends. She ain't interested though, we already did that dance a while back and it didn't end well... lucky to have her as a friend I guess, but until I get away to uni, things aint gonna change Maybe not even then...

Group hug?

Sounds like we're in the same boat man, or at least boats that look near identical...

Hehe, I'm in a similar boat myself.

Different circumstances though. Long distance comes into play but there's also a language barrier. She's Japanese (albeit living in London) and she's still working on her English. I met her at Wacken last year and I think the problem is we became really close friends very quickly. I know that doesn't always matter and we have spoken about the whole situation but I just haven't a clue where things stand. We're virtually on best friend terms though...maybe anything else is just wishful thinking. Sometimes she seems really affectionate, other times not so. It's doing my fucking head in though!!

For Goodness Sake Tell her !!!!

What do you have to lose???

I have told her, that's the problem. I don't know what else I can do. It's complicated...it'd take an age to explain the circumstances. It's kind of in the balance I guess you could say. I just don't like it this way. I'd rather her have turned me down than leave it like this.

Thanks for the advice though.

[bungle]

I'm hooked on one girl, I'm not interested in anyone else but her and she's like one of my closest friends. She ain't interested though, we already did that dance a while back and it didn't end well... lucky to have her as a friend I guess, but until I get away to uni, things aint gonna change Maybe not even then...

Group hug?

Sounds like we're in the same boat man, or at least boats that look near identical...

Hehe, I'm in a similar boat myself.

Different circumstances though. Long distance comes into play but there's also a language barrier. She's Japanese (albeit living in London) and she's still working on her English. I met her at Wacken last year and I think the problem is we became really close friends very quickly. I know that doesn't always matter and we have spoken about the whole situation but I just haven't a clue where things stand. We're virtually on best friend terms though...maybe anything else is just wishful thinking. Sometimes she seems really affectionate, other times not so. It's doing my fucking head in though!!

For Goodness Sake Tell her !!!!

What do you have to lose???

I have told her, that's the problem. I don't know what else I can do. It's complicated...it'd take an age to explain the circumstances. It's kind of in the balance I guess you could say. I just don't like it this way. I'd rather her have turned me down than leave it like this.

Thanks for the advice though.

glad to see its not only finnish women

[Twaddlefish]

I said goodbye to Naomi on Friday. I'm a sad bunny.

Oh well, such is life. As she said to me, every ending is just a new beginning.

gdbye for good? or until u get bk from australia? (hope i got the right person)

P

Missed this one. Yeah, it's me AP!

She thinks I'm not coming back, ever. I think. So being a guy, I have to prove her wrong. In this last month she made her way into my very small list of reasons why I'd come back to England.

[a_p]

ah, thats well harsh. See how you feel when your down under i suppose.

AP

[Twaddlefish]

ah, thats well harsh. See how you feel when your down under i suppose.

AP

Yeah, well...she thinks I'll love it down there so much that I won't come back, but I'll miss York...I want to live there!

We have to say goodbye so we can say hello again, as the old saying goes.

[Captain_Boris]

I started talking to a girl, she dumps her boyfriend coz he's a boring cunt. Me and said girl have a lot in common and get on really well but some ex-friends of mine are making up a load of bullshit to stop her from getting with me and i think she's believing it.

[Twaddlefish]

I started talking to a girl, she dumps her boyfriend coz he's a boring cunt. Me and said girl have a lot in common and get on really well but some ex-friends of mine are making up a load of bullshit to stop her from getting with me and i think she's believing it.

Dude, you need to sit down with her and tell her it's not true. Don't get angry about it, because that'll make you look like a hissy bitch. Tell her she's got the option of either believing it or not, it's up to her; you value her as a friend and maybe something more...why are they making this stuff up, btw?

[Bauul]

I started talking to a girl, she dumps her boyfriend coz he's a boring cunt.

That's quite impressive, I've never met someone so horrid they earn the title of cunt, but still manage to be boring!

[DeathByVodka]

You've never met me then, I'm gonna come hang around near your tent

[Lick Mars]

Relationships ay? Well I'm not gonna bother giving advice on anything here because I'm pretty rubbish in that subject area!

But unlike most here..I'm actually a fairly happy singleton. I dunno, I like being with someone (not that I've been with many rly), or even just getting attention, but.. if I'm with someone they have to be able to be a mate as well as anything else, which sounds pretty obvious but it seems to only work like that if you're mates first or the guy's, well, just a genuine bloke and a good laugh. I mean, I've come across so many guys just after one thing (which I don't give away that easily may I add) which is annoying in itself but having someone who doesnt give a shit about what comes out your mouth to try chatting to you is so irretating it really makes you lose faith... I truly hate it when someone doesn't show you respect, that is seriously the most important thing for me in a relationship. I HATE when someone just has no respect for you, treats you like 'his bird' rather than a human being. And guys that put their arm around your shoulders when you're with a group of people, as if to say 'shes mine, and shes not allowed to talk but I'm going to' like, shes just my bird, she doesn't speak or have any views in this conversation or anything, shes just my trophy' - can fuck off. Or doesnt even introduce you to his friends as if to say I'm just a pretty face (not being vain there, but you get the picture) GAH!. Stuff like that pisses me off. Sometimes it feels better to be single and have them as mates.

But enough moaning.. I don't exactly attract guys I like anyway (or I do and don't realise cos I'm oblivious to these kind of things. someone like me? crazy!) but I like those rare occasions when you meet a good guy.
Actually lately I've realised I might like someone, but its awkward (as it always is) so I'm not gonna persue it as such, let things go with the flow. Tis prob the best way.

[spook1957]

Well seriously long term relationship....30 years last March and she's still a Babe.......So if you get dumped or something bad happens and you need someone to pour your heart out to she'll listen, I won't because I don't give a damn and will probably be completely mangled inviting people round to our place to drink......

[Bauul]

Relationships ay? Well I'm not gonna bother giving advice on anything here because I'm pretty rubbish in that subject area!

But unlike most here..I'm actually a fairly happy singleton. ...

Ah to be young (well, younger) again! Funny thing is I know exactly what you're talking about, as I was one of those guys who had (has) lots of female friends, yet remained single, so I heard all about the boyfriend types who were there for the intimacy and image and little else. The thing is, the guys who are in it for the image are the ones you notice, the ones who will be open aabout it, because they're not afaird of being burned. The ones who would actually care about you are usually too scared to do anything about it. I should know, I was one.

As for mates becoming more than that, truth is 90% of the better relationships I know (I'm 22 by the way, if you're after a gauge), were formed from being mates first. A couple whom I'm very good mates with were friends for about 4 years before they starting dating, and they celebrated their 4 year anniversary recently. Truth is, people change, circumstances change, you change, and over time a person who is only a mate can, and often does, become more than that. Someone you're mates with are actually brilliant candidates for a relationship, as the respect is already there, and as they care for you as a friend, they'll carry that over into the relationship. Founding a relationship of being friends is a sure fire way to make it work, especially if you're good friends. I know people are scared of losing people as friends if it all goes wrong, but that really isn't the case. True particularly nasty breakups can kill any friendship that was there, but only if one lets the breakup be nasty. With a bit of empathy and thought even a relationship doomed to fail can drop quite simply back into friendship without any problem, I've seen it happen many, many times. I guess the older you get, the more relationships become effecting of your life, if I could go back in time and give my younger self advice, the main thing I'd say is "relax, you're young, anything you get wrong now will have no effect on you later in life". I used to agonise about things that in hindsight wouldn't had mattered either way if I'd had a go and messed up.

Ah, I'm getting all nostalgic now. Anyway, point is mates and partners are not mutually exclusive, my girlfriend is my best mate, you don't have to choose one or the other, people can be both, and if the relationship doesn't work, you can be friends again, it's a myth all relationships kill friendships if you're careful about it.

[The Warlord]

Im still friends with an ex that i was with for nearly 3 years and before we got together we were like best friends, it isn't weird or uncomfortable, it's like it used to be. Also on friendly terms (not great friends but talk and polite) with another girl who started of as a work mate, then a friend, then girlfreind, then engaged then split up was with her for 2 1/2 years and were pretty much fine with each other infact she got married a couple of months back and invited me but i politly turned the invitation down , every other lass if seein are crazy and not bothed to ever hear from them again , but at the moment im happy on my own, doin what i wanna do. If somebody does come along then fine if not bah oh well. I know what Bauul means about the gettin burnt thing i never make the first move its as the old song goes once bitten twice shy!

[Lick Mars]

well I wish people wouldn't be scared of getting burned cos I've come to realise I won't get what I want unless I make some kind of move first which I don't like doing!! . But actually I can understand why someone will think like that. And I suppose its a good thing really... the chase can be kionda fun lol

oh and theres some guy at the mo who I mistakingly gave my number to (I had gotten ones self very drunk..) whose text me who I dont want anything to do with and am unsure whether to reply and somehow get rid of them, or just ignore them. The latter would be the easy/not so nice thing to do but I might happen to bump into them again and it could be awkward and have no good excuse rly. But theyre a bit of a twat so I dont really care lol. I've gotten myself into this predicament before, I'm a fool I tell you, A FOOL. Ah well lol.

[Metalchemyst]

I hate the term 'relationship' - it sounds so mathematical or psychobabbleistic.

Anyway, too painful thinking of all the squandered opportunities.