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Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Sat May 11, 2013 10:16 pm
by Katy
So! I have a question for the guys, here:

My husband is not too keen on me attending BOA by myself. He's not interested in the music and wouldn't want to pay for his own ticket, although he sort of says he wants to come along, but I think he's just considering it or testing to see if he's welcome. I'd rather go alone because I like doing things by myself once in a while (I almost never get to, but I frequently wish I could) and I don't really think it would be fun to be with someone who really doesn't like that sort of music at all.

It's not a matter of sexual jealousy: I'm probably taking our oldest son, so no hanky panky planned or really possible.

Anyway, a couple of male friends I know just laughed at the very idea that I would even consider asking to go. One of them said, sarcastically, "Oh yes, wife? You want to go spend the weekend camping out a heavy metal festival while I stay here with our chidlren? Of course I don't have any problem with that! Enjoy! Bon voyage! Yeah, right!!!" And others have just laughed and said I must be taking the piss to even consider it.

But, some women I know are all like "You don't need his permission! You go do what you want to do!"

So, I ask you: how would you feel if your wife wanted to go by herself/without you to a festival that you ordinarily would have no interest in?

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Sat May 11, 2013 10:20 pm
by Delightful-Jim
I'd still go. It's a heck of an experience, and if your husband doesn't want to be a part of it, that's his own business.

So I'd be siding with your women friends, because if I was with someone that acted the way your male friends described, I'd not be impressed.

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Sat May 11, 2013 10:21 pm
by Jim
I wouldn't really mind at all if Fjar went to a festival I wasn't interested in, but as has been found out here, everyone is different, and as such, every relationship is different.

He must have a reason for not wanting you to go, and I think rather than back down quickly, find out what the real reason is.

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Sat May 11, 2013 10:23 pm
by Tet
I'd have no problem at all. I go to Bloodstock every year by myself (mostly - she's been to two so far, but I've been by myself for the rest). And I'd have no problem if she went to a festival that I didn't want to go to.

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Sat May 11, 2013 10:25 pm
by Cowbacca
siliconfury wrote:Being frustrated is what's wrong probably.

What do you mean by that? I wasn't frustrated at the time.

Knickers were dived in a timely fashion, can't think that'd be the reason.

Katy wrote:She's found someone else or she's just grown bored. I know it's horrid the way she just dropped you, but there's not much you can do about it. Delete her number and forget her.


Aye, probably. It just seems odd given how clingy she was right up until doing a complete u-turn, plus telling me that I was the first guy she'd been with that she wasn't in control of (as a positive). I'm completely over her, I'm just very inexperienced with relationships and really want to know what went wrong so it doesn't happen again. Surely talking things through whenever there's a disagreement and making sure everyone involved knows everyone else's position is the best thing for everyone? Probably just showing my naivety here. :P

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Sat May 11, 2013 10:25 pm
by Moonburp
I can't see the problem, It's a metal festival, not an orgy :lol:

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Sat May 11, 2013 10:28 pm
by Delightful-Jim
Cowbacca wrote:Aye, probably. It just seems odd given how clingy she was right up until doing a complete u-turn, plus telling me that I was the first guy she'd been with that she wasn't in control of (as a positive). I'm completely over her, I'm just very inexperienced with relationships and really want to know what went wrong so it doesn't happen again. Surely talking things through whenever there's a disagreement and making sure everyone involved knows everyone else's position is the best thing for everyone? Probably just showing my naivety here. :P



There's a good chance she might not even be able to put into words what her reasoning is. Not because she's a woman, but because she's probably young and still learning about relationships, just as you and myself are. Behaviours such as this are never rational, and it might not have even been your fault.



Either that or she's screwing with you.

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Sat May 11, 2013 10:29 pm
by Jim
I'd go with the bored/found someone else theory then.

By being frustrated, I meant trying to find out what was wrong when really the best idea is to drop it and chase someone else. Has too much of an effect on your general mood if you ponder on it too much. It's nothing unusual, so don't worry about it, she's seen you as expendable therefore you must treat her the same, otherwise you drag yourself down into constantly asking 'why?'. It might seem heartless, but you gotta look out for #1.

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Sat May 11, 2013 10:40 pm
by Cowbacca
Cheers for the advice guys. :yes: I think just talking about it will happen banish it from my mind for good; since I couldn't talk about it with her there was no closure really. Just for clarity, it's not her that I was hung up on, just the way it ended.

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 12:44 am
by VizardAmata
Katy wrote:So! I have a question for the guys, here:

My husband is not too keen on me attending BOA by myself. He's not interested in the music and wouldn't want to pay for his own ticket, although he sort of says he wants to come along, but I think he's just considering it or testing to see if he's welcome. I'd rather go alone because I like doing things by myself once in a while (I almost never get to, but I frequently wish I could) and I don't really think it would be fun to be with someone who really doesn't like that sort of music at all.

It's not a matter of sexual jealousy: I'm probably taking our oldest son, so no hanky panky planned or really possible.

Anyway, a couple of male friends I know just laughed at the very idea that I would even consider asking to go. One of them said, sarcastically, "Oh yes, wife? You want to go spend the weekend camping out a heavy metal festival while I stay here with our chidlren? Of course I don't have any problem with that! Enjoy! Bon voyage! Yeah, right!!!" And others have just laughed and said I must be taking the piss to even consider it.

But, some women I know are all like "You don't need his permission! You go do what you want to do!"

So, I ask you: how would you feel if your wife wanted to go by herself/without you to a festival that you ordinarily would have no interest in?


Tbh, I'm not even in a relationship atm but if I were I wouldn't want to stop my partner from going to a festival alone, especially if it was one I wasn't interested in. I would say to call it "taking the piss" is ridiculous and whoever said that to you needs a bit of a slap IMO.

It's hardly "taking the piss" to go to a festival once per year, which lasts all of four days, whether or not you have your son with you.

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 6:08 am
by Katy
That's what think!

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 10:36 am
by fluffymoo
Rich just left to go back home, and this was his last visit before I move over. It's feels kind of weird that this long distance mumbo-jumbo is finally about to come to an end - I think I've had a bit of a hate/love relationship with it myself all along. Although right now I'm just hopeful, happy, and relieved that the pieces are falling into their rightful places. After all, this was what was planned from the very beginning and it's something I always wanted.

We managed to pack another 10-13 kilos of my things... I feel the invasion will be successful.

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 10:43 am
by Fjar
fluffymoo wrote:It's feels kind of weird that this long distance mumbo-jumbo is finally about to come to an end


Nooo, it's amazing! :D I'm really happy for you guys!

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 10:47 am
by fluffymoo
Thank you! :D It does feel slightly scary, but amazing and fantastic at the same time!

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 11:35 am
by Matty_the_Emo_Slayer
fluffymoo wrote:I feel the invasion will be successful.


Now that you've used that word you have to be wearing a horned helmet and have your hair in pigtails when you get off the plane.