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Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 1:20 pm
by Katy
Well, I think mothers/wives are expected to stay at home (whilst their husbands go to football matches.)

But! I have his blessing and now I'm just going to decide if I really want to take our son.

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 1:29 pm
by Andy Hall
I find the idea of someone needing permission to go to something weird, the only reason I could see being an issue would be cost, if it isn 't an issue then I see no reason why permission should be needed, obviously you tell him you're going :lol:

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 1:30 pm
by VizardAmata
Katy wrote:Well, I think mothers/wives are expected to stay at home (whilst their husbands go to football matches.)


I sometimes feel like people who still think this way must have time travelled from the 1950's.

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 1:39 pm
by Andy Hall
VizardAmata wrote:
Katy wrote:Well, I think mothers/wives are expected to stay at home (whilst their husbands go to football matches.)


I sometimes feel like people who still think this way must have time travelled from the 1950's.


1850s

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 2:06 pm
by Katy
I think it's rare that a husband actually forbids a wife to go do something. I think that a lot of wives just stay at home because they have absorbed the idea that this is the thing to do.

I do know that when I go off and do things, people tend to remark upon it and I've seen women look surprised and express envy. More common, however, is a sort of disapproval or someone making a remark about the husband "babysitting." For some reason, people call it "babysitting" when the husband does it but not when the mother does. It's seen as extraordinary, I think.

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 2:17 pm
by Fjar
Andy Hall wrote:I find the idea of someone needing permission to go to something weird.


Yup, this.

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 2:18 pm
by VizardAmata
Tbh I'm surprised it even raises an eyebrow. I would have thought that mothers going out and doing their own thing (or maybe even being the breadwinner in some cases) would be quite common.

I would hope that no one would care about the husband "babysitting" in this day and age.

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 4:37 pm
by tranmerefan
This morning someone posted a picture of me and the girl darkweasel wants me to get with and someone commented we'd make a lovely couple.

This afternoon I overheard her talking to two other girls about "that bloody photo" whilst all 3 cast glances in my direction.

It sounds about right. 8)

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 4:58 pm
by Danroush
In relation to the whole leaving the husband at home and going to a festival thing, whilst I agree she should go, I think it could also just be about the idea of one partner running off to piss about for an extended weekend while the other is stuck at home, regardless of which partner it is. If however the guy that we're talking about runs off himself for stuff like this then fair enough!

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 10:54 pm
by Nantha
Im having a bit of an issue with the festival & boyfriend situation myself at the moment.
I'm fairly outgoing and independent when I'm at a festival, i like to wander off by myself and meet new people. Unfortunately it's my boyfriends idea of hell, so much so that if I do these things, he won't enjoy himself.

We're doing Hellfest together this year and I've tried mentioning to him that I might want to do Bloodstock by myself, but he doesn't seem to be able to handle the idea of it. A mixture of jealousy, paranoia perhaps and other things.
I'm not going to stop him from coming to Bloodstock if he wants to, but I haven't been to a gig/festival without him in two years now and this year It might be nice to do it with just mates for once.
I wish there was a simple way to go about this :(

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 11:09 pm
by Katy
There is a simple way. It just won't be an easy way.

Go without him. Let him deal with it. He either grows a pair and gets over himself, or you can dump his ass. You're not married to him. Hopefully, you don't have children together. Life is too short for jealous partners. Seriously.

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 11:11 pm
by Katy
Danroush wrote:In relation to the whole leaving the husband at home and going to a festival thing, whilst I agree she should go, I think it could also just be about the idea of one partner running off to piss about for an extended weekend while the other is stuck at home, regardless of which partner it is. If however the guy that we're talking about runs off himself for stuff like this then fair enough!


Alas! He does not run off himself. He likes to sit in front of the Telly all weekend watching reruns of Lovejoy. I alternate between trying to hide in my room, reading, and running around cooking and cleaning and becoming annoyed.

I would love for him to go off and do something on his own. He very rarely does.

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 11:17 pm
by VizardAmata
Guys I have a bit of a dilemma here... I feel like I need some advice from people more seasoned in relationships than myself. I seem to be one of those people who can give excellent advice to others but when it comes to myself I come up short.

Long story short is this: I've had feelings for a good friend of mine for quite some time now, and it actually got discussed between us ages ago. I told him how I felt, blah blah, and basically got told that he doesn't want a relationship with anyone due to a painful breakup and isn't ready to even have feelings for anyone atm.

Fast forward a few months and I find myself unable to completely shift these feelings... it seems as if whenever I think to myself "Yeah, I've moved on" there's just a spark, or one of those moments... and it all seems to come flooding back. I genuinely feel like there is something there... So my question, simply, is this: Should I bring it all up again, one more time, just to see if anything has changed or just admit to myself that I am wasting my time and actually go about "putting myself out there" and finding someone.

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 11:19 pm
by Nantha
Katy wrote:There is a simple way. It just won't be an easy way.

Go without him. Let him deal with it. He either grows a pair and gets over himself, or you can dump his ass. You're not married to him. Hopefully, you don't have children together. Life is too short for jealous partners. Seriously.


Thanks for the advice, but it's a little extreme, and not really valuable advice in my situation :P
Just to clarify, he doesn't stop me doing anything i want to do, but asking him to stay at home whilst his girlfriend and friends go to a festival without him will make him understandably jealous. When you have the same friends and share the same interests, it's not so easy to do things without each other, because it usually means one person misses out.

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 11:25 pm
by Andy Hall
This idea of being 2 people that make a whole is insane to me, if you can't do things alone, that to me is unhealthy mentally