The Relationships Thread

Put the world to rights here (off-topic discussion)
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Jobdone
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby Jobdone » Fri Feb 27, 2015 12:24 pm

I tried to stay friends with the right hand when I moved over to the left, but there's just too much history.
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby Turbo » Fri Feb 27, 2015 12:53 pm

:lol: :lol:

Im not sure where I stand with my ex. I expect us to just fall out of contact with another. Shame because I really value her friendship, but she don't seem all that bothered about mine. I guess its sort of understandable.

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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby Danroush » Fri Feb 27, 2015 1:43 pm

Turbo wrote::lol: :lol:

Im not sure where I stand with my ex. I expect us to just fall out of contact with another. Shame because I really value her friendship, but she don't seem all that bothered about mine. I guess its sort of understandable.


Kind of felt the same way in terms of one or two Exes, currently removing a couple of them off the old FB because they don't seem interested in keeing the same level of friendship as I do (although having a jealous new boyfriend has often been the reason mentioned in similar cases).
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby Moonburp » Fri Feb 27, 2015 2:19 pm

Depends on how you break up. If shit flew in the breakup, things might never be right as burying the hatchet comes up in mixed results. It's a lot easier to be mates if there's closure, but if things just fizzled out then there's a lot of stuff unsaid.
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby Danroush » Fri Feb 27, 2015 3:25 pm

Moonburp wrote:Depends on how you break up. If shit flew in the breakup, things might never be right as burying the hatchet comes up in mixed results. It's a lot easier to be mates if there's closure, but if things just fizzled out then there's a lot of stuff unsaid.


Only once have things fizzled out for me, every other time (bar one) I ended it, so I can understand them being less than thrilled with me in certain cases, or find it hard to act as "just friends" in others.
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby Fjar » Fri Feb 27, 2015 5:22 pm

After 7 years all my exes have just faded out of contact. But yeah, no problem with staying in contact with them. Certainly wouldn't give anyone stick for still talking to their exes.
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby Katesyl » Fri Feb 27, 2015 10:34 pm

One of the few exes it ended on good terms with's now wife isn't happy about us staying friends but I get it. She sent me a few messages apologising and explaining that she's insecure and I totally respect that.

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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby tranmerefan » Sat Feb 28, 2015 12:39 am

Things are awkward but civil with my ex. If she wasn't on the same roller derby team I'd avoid her completely.

She still won't talk to me on track lol. Hasn't really spoken t me since she wanted to get back together and I said no..
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby Smindas » Sat Feb 28, 2015 9:35 am

As a few have said, nowt wrong with it but it does depend on circumstance. Weirdly enough, I'm hanging with my ex this evening as we haven't seen each other in quite a while. We ended on good terms and we're still mates, so why not?

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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby Tet » Mon Mar 02, 2015 1:26 pm

My view is that if you like someone enough to go out with them in the first place, then you like them enough to stay friends afterwards.

If a new girlfriend objects to you seeing your ex, that should be a big red warning flag. Run away. The crazy is strong in this one.
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby Smindas » Mon Mar 02, 2015 8:56 pm

Tet wrote:My view is that if you like someone enough to go out with them in the first place, then you like them enough to stay friends afterwards.

Whilst that's brutally logical and I agree with it in principle, I can also very much see how plenty of relationships may not end on a note where staying friends is all that feasible. I think if you are in a position where staying friends with exes is a breeze, that's pretty lucky.

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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby fluffymoo » Mon Mar 02, 2015 9:07 pm

People change. Just because they seemed to be one way when you first started going out, doesn't mean they won't change throughout the course of a relationship - for better or for worse.
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby Tet » Mon Mar 02, 2015 10:49 pm

Smindas wrote:Whilst that's brutally logical and I agree with it in principle, I can also very much see how plenty of relationships may not end on a note where staying friends is all that feasible.

Obviously that's true. I was very hurt after my previous relationship broke down, not just because of what happened, but because of the way she went about it, which seemed at the time to be twisting the knife at every opportunity. I didn't really interact with her for several years. But once time had passed and wounds had healed a bit, we got back in touch and remain friends now.
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby Danroush » Mon Mar 16, 2015 2:33 pm

It's been over a year since it ended but I still have semi frequent dreams about the (only) girl that left me at the start of last year. I don't have her on fb, she's currently back in Spain so I don't see her or anything, there's no reason to think about her yet I can't get the thought of her fully out of my head and I don't know why. :(

Even though we weren't together for long, we clicked perfectly as soon as we met. She was the first person I'd ever truly loved (could also use the phrase "in love with" but sometimes the phrasing of love and in love changes meaning for some so not quite sure which to use), and I was a complete mess after she ended it last year

Reason she ended it: she is very work focused and I wanted to see her all the time whereas she felt she needed to be working a lot of the time which is fair enough considering she's a top of her year law student back there, and she had also recently got out of a 2 1/2 year relationship when she came over, so she wasn't really in the right place to jump into something, especially as she would be leaving back to Spain that summer.

After a period of not speaking we became friends again, and after a long chat we somewhat came to a conclusion of "right people, wrong time," and when she moved back we were in occasional contact, throwing messages here and there, but after a while I felt like she wasn't really making the level of effort I would consider enough to be a proper friend, and due to the history between us I felt it was better to not have her on fb as a "kinda" friend reminding me of things, but since deleting her, she's now even more stuck in my dreams again, the weird part being I don't even think about her during the day, yet I often wake up feeling shit because of yet another dream.


I know it's pathetic to still be this hung up on someone, but it just makes me feel so shit :(
Freyja wrote:I never used to be able to fit a whole one in my mouth. But now I can with ease.

TheLotusEater193 wrote:WHY IS IT SO TINY?!

TheLotusEater193 wrote:To be fair 1 and a half minutes is really good if you've never done it before.


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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby Moonburp » Mon Mar 16, 2015 2:53 pm

Danroush wrote:It's been over a year since it ended but I still have semi frequent dreams about the (only) girl that left me at the start of last year. I don't have her on fb, she's currently back in Spain so I don't see her or anything, there's no reason to think about her yet I can't get the thought of her fully out of my head and I don't know why. :(

Even though we weren't together for long, we clicked perfectly as soon as we met. She was the first person I'd ever truly loved (could also use the phrase "in love with" but sometimes the phrasing of love and in love changes meaning for some so not quite sure which to use), and I was a complete mess after she ended it last year

Reason she ended it: she is very work focused and I wanted to see her all the time whereas she felt she needed to be working a lot of the time which is fair enough considering she's a top of her year law student back there, and she had also recently got out of a 2 1/2 year relationship when she came over, so she wasn't really in the right place to jump into something, especially as she would be leaving back to Spain that summer.

After a period of not speaking we became friends again, and after a long chat we somewhat came to a conclusion of "right people, wrong time," and when she moved back we were in occasional contact, throwing messages here and there, but after a while I felt like she wasn't really making the level of effort I would consider enough to be a proper friend, and due to the history between us I felt it was better to not have her on fb as a "kinda" friend reminding me of things, but since deleting her, she's now even more stuck in my dreams again, the weird part being I don't even think about her during the day, yet I often wake up feeling shit because of yet another dream.


I know it's pathetic to still be this hung up on someone, but it just makes me feel so shit :(

Fuck, this rings true. Spanish girls get under your skin, bro.

I know it's impossible to think about moving on and that you'll never really find anyone who got you in the same way but you will. The worst thing you can do is spend years hung up on the same person, spending hours on the 'what ifs' and 'if onlys', especially if you have no way to contact them. Deleting them from Facebook is a really good move, props on you for doing that. Maybe I'll do the same one day. Moving on is really hard, but you just gotta live your life like it never happened. Brutal, but needed. You got this, man.

Just don't write an albums worth of songs about them. Doesn't help.
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