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Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 11:14 pm
by herzeleid
Applecore wrote:It's hard to feel happy being single when it lasts for so long each time. Not to mention the endless amounts of rejection.
But anyway, it's not so much that I hate being single, it's more that I like this girl and want to do something about it, instead of doing my usual thing of liking her but keeping shtum about it and then she gets a boyfriend who, inevitably, is a bastard (whether he's actually a bastard or if I just decide he is because he's not me is another story altogether).


Dude, you need to chillax! No wonder you're so in a state all the time. Stop seeking it out so much, no hope = no fear. Learn to love yourself, and yes, the pun was partly intended.

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 11:37 pm
by MentalInfestation
Rickles_the_Mighty wrote:
MentalInfestation wrote:
vonLipwig wrote:
Bite the Bullet!!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkbgNnUp4G0


Bah!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWp0kjovkgE :yes:



No no. vonLipwig is correct.


I prefer MH :D

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 11:58 pm
by Ensorcelled
MentalInfestation wrote:I prefer MH :D


Someone has to. :D

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 12:06 am
by herzeleid
Ensorcelled wrote:
MentalInfestation wrote:I prefer MH :D


Someone has to. :D


I do also, hells yeah.

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 12:18 am
by Luke_X
herzeleid wrote:
Applecore wrote:It's hard to feel happy being single when it lasts for so long each time. Not to mention the endless amounts of rejection.
But anyway, it's not so much that I hate being single, it's more that I like this girl and want to do something about it, instead of doing my usual thing of liking her but keeping shtum about it and then she gets a boyfriend who, inevitably, is a bastard (whether he's actually a bastard or if I just decide he is because he's not me is another story altogether).


Dude, you need to chillax! No wonder you're so in a state all the time. Stop seeking it out so much, no hope = no fear. Learn to love yourself, and yes, the pun was partly intended.


yeah dont worry too much about it. the more you worry the harder its going to be accept what happens and the more paranoid and panicy you will get in future. just sit back, have a beer, watch a film and wait. you sitting there pulling hair out wont do anyone any good.

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 8:58 am
by Finnvitka
So basically, HerzSam and that guy are right. And I'm not going to fucking sugarcoat, it doesn't help anyone.

We women right, we can smell desperation. We don't like it. It's deeply unattractive to basically all of us (apart from the weirdos who are themselves so desperate they go out with the first person who comes along and end up dead or whatever. I digress).

How do you know that being in a relationship will be the magical cure all your life needs for you to be happy? Why do you even want one that badly? Is it because you seem like you're the only single person ever? You're not. Is it because you don't want to die alone? That's stuff to think about when you're like 70 and have no family or friends.

How can you even be happy in a relationship if you're not happy with yourself first? Being single isn't about finding the next person for a long term relationship, it's about learning about yourself, enjoying your own company. In the words of Belle de Jour in her frankly brilliant book "Guide To Men" (for women, but to be honest most of it applies to both sexes) - "be who you want to get in a relationship" and "fake it until you make it". So, you say you're not overly confident, but it's not actually hard to give a pretence of confidence. Stand straight, smile when you talk to people, make witty conversation if that's your forte. And if you're determined to get a long term relationship, you've GOT to stop pining after girls who are taken or don't seem interested. Ask them, if they say no, chalk it up to experience and move on. No is not the be all and end all of life.

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 9:11 am
by Cookie_
Finnvitka wrote:So basically, HerzSam and that guy are right. And I'm not going to fucking sugarcoat, it doesn't help anyone.

We women right, we can smell desperation. We don't like it. It's deeply unattractive to basically all of us (apart from the weirdos who are themselves so desperate they go out with the first person who comes along and end up dead or whatever. I digress).

How do you know that being in a relationship will be the magical cure all your life needs for you to be happy? Why do you even want one that badly? Is it because you seem like you're the only single person ever? You're not. Is it because you don't want to die alone? That's stuff to think about when you're like 70 and have no family or friends.

How can you even be happy in a relationship if you're not happy with yourself first? Being single isn't about finding the next person for a long term relationship, it's about learning about yourself, enjoying your own company. In the words of Belle de Jour in her frankly brilliant book "Guide To Men" (for women, but to be honest most of it applies to both sexes) - "be who you want to get in a relationship" and "fake it until you make it". So, you say you're not overly confident, but it's not actually hard to give a pretence of confidence. Stand straight, smile when you talk to people, make witty conversation if that's your forte. And if you're determined to get a long term relationship, you've GOT to stop pining after girls who are taken or don't seem interested. Ask them, if they say no, chalk it up to experience and move on. No is not the be all and end all of life.

What?? For god's sake, shut up!

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 9:22 am
by Finnvitka
So, you're trying to tell me if some guy you're not interested in the slightest in is being overfriendly and trying SO HARD to get into your pants, you're not put off by that?

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 9:24 am
by Jim
Amy does actually speak some sense sometimes.

The "smelling desperation" thing might be subjective and differ from person to person - Amy probably has incredibly good intuition and it's up to her to decide how to read the "desperation" that she's sensing.

Otherwise, I agree. You slow your own life down by worrying about being single. There are more important things to worry about.

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 9:29 am
by deeno
There is nothing worse than someone hanging around like a little puppy , desperation is very very unattractive. When I was young , free and single (many many moons ago) there were 2 things that I would do if I liked a girl . One was eye-contact , you can tell very quickly if someone is interested and secondly I would be very upfront and direct . When I first met the wife I went up to her and said "are you gonna go with me or what?" . Almost 20 years later ........ :lol:

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 9:31 am
by Smindas
I'd say that's a pretty good nugget of wisdom from Amy there. That desperation thing goes both ways in my experience, although guys might be a bit less discerning about it.

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 9:35 am
by Finnvitka
siliconfury wrote:
The "smelling desperation" thing might be subjective and differ from person to person - Amy probably has incredibly good intuition and it's up to her to decide how to read the "desperation" that she's sensing.



I somehow manage to break at least three hearts a week, apparently.

You guys who can't be friends with a girl without having some kind of feelings for her are the reason I'm constantly having to reject unwanted advances.

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 9:44 am
by Cookie_
Finnvitka wrote:So, you're trying to tell me if some guy you're not interested in the slightest in is being overfriendly and trying SO HARD to get into your pants, you're not put off by that?

You're trying to imply that Craig is showing desparation, and through chatting with him, he really isn't. I'm more pissed off with the fact that you always think you know everything. How 'brilliant' your advice is, what a 'culinary genius' and 'academic goddess' you are. It's really quite deluded. That's why I think we'd all benefit from you just chillaxing a little with the whole big-headedness. Phew.

:cry:

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 9:48 am
by Jim
After a quick scan of Amy's posts - she has never really used any language lately which suggests that her advice is better - she is merely commenting based on her experiences, much like what other users here have done. Without being bitter, I'd say that you're the one to chillax as you seem to have a personal vendetta against Amy.

Re: The Relationships Thread

Posted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 9:53 am
by Smindas
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