THE EDL ARE COMING

August 6-9, Catton Park, Walton on Trent, Derbyshire
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Kanwulf
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THE EDL ARE COMING

Postby Kanwulf » Mon Jun 29, 2015 10:05 pm

http://festiballs.co.uk/fun/edl-to-march-on-bloodstock/

Perhaps it’s the good weather and longer hours of daylight but festival season and political marching season must co-exist and this year the two worlds are set to collide like no year previous.

Top brass and spokespeople within the English Defence League have stated their intention to march upon Bloodstock this August. Bloodstock, the self-proclaimed UK’s largest Heavy Metal Festival boasts some of the biggest names in the genre, but how many of these are invaders from overseas? That number is what’s riling up the right wing group and now is the time for them to take a stand apparently.

We stood up to the Vikings in the 9th century to defend this land, it seems like we’ve got to do it again in the 21st century

said one EDL supporter. The hordes these days are more interested in singing about pillaging and rape and shifting albums and concert tickets than actually practicing Viking-esque debauchery but the far right group don’t want to take any chances in defending our shores.

But what has really terrified the political group is the prospect of “black metal”

We don’t know what this is, but it sounds different, foreign and liable to take our lower paid jobs from us

BOA have said that black metal is performed and enjoyed by the palest people on planet Earth but the EDL are adamant of their need to stand and march against this unknown, almost certain menace.

Whether other festivals will likely to get the marching treatment only time will tell, “we’ll see how this protest goes and add more to the tour next year”, though they did express a fondness for Saxon so at least they’re not made of stone.

It’s been hard to get a hold of someone from the festival for comment but one supporter was heard to utter “at least they’re not rappers, go give them some grief!”


totally not a satire article..........
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Gandalf the Red
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Re: THE EDL ARE COMING

Postby Gandalf the Red » Mon Jun 29, 2015 10:29 pm

BURGERKILL IS COMING!!!
“He likes having the ball, playing football, passes. It’s like an orchestra. But it’s a silent song. But I like heavy metal more. I always want it loud.” - Jürgen Klopp

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houston4044
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Re: THE EDL ARE COMING

Postby houston4044 » Mon Jun 29, 2015 11:02 pm

This is a joke right? Napalm Death will have a field day with it though :lol:

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CharlesDexterWard
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Re: THE EDL ARE COMING

Postby CharlesDexterWard » Tue Jun 30, 2015 6:53 am

I assume this is a wind up and not genuine?

Good luck to any EDL member standing next to me, they will be picking up their teeth after I punch them out.
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Gandalf the Red
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Re: THE EDL ARE COMING

Postby Gandalf the Red » Tue Jun 30, 2015 8:55 am

I don't think the EDL is much of a going concern anymore. They still exist, but after a couple of major falling outs between members they have virtually imploded and gone the same way as the BNP.
“He likes having the ball, playing football, passes. It’s like an orchestra. But it’s a silent song. But I like heavy metal more. I always want it loud.” - Jürgen Klopp

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Dobbydob
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Re: THE EDL ARE COMING

Postby Dobbydob » Tue Jun 30, 2015 10:14 am

hahaha, very good. I love how the website has now also pointed out that its all utter bollocks, but that some people are still having real in depth discussions about what to do.
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januszjasinski
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Re: THE EDL ARE COMING

Postby januszjasinski » Tue Jun 30, 2015 11:43 am

I don't know much about words but I would have thought festiballs.co.uk/disclaimer was pretty clear

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Korthkor
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Re: THE EDL ARE COMING

Postby Korthkor » Tue Jun 30, 2015 2:47 pm

That was pointless.
I looked into the eye of the fish.

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Bearstock
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Re: THE EDL ARE COMING

Postby Bearstock » Wed Jul 01, 2015 3:31 pm

:lol:

If they did at least it'd be easy to find who the pickpockets are this year :rolleyes:
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