A free-for-all thread

[Jonoleth]

Is this matt again?

Not Matt of Fig Roll fame no...

[Ross]

alliteration whore

[Xzar]

Fig Rolls own my face.

[Jonoleth]

Fig Rolls own my face.

They own everyones faces.

Known fact.

[Xzar]

OH MY GOD.


Funniest thing I've seen in AGES;

http://youtube.com/watch?v=xqgmTfrYvlc

[Ross]

christ on a stick!

[Black Utopia]

"would you like to sign up for my summer camp?"

LOL

[Xzar]

I like the bit with the high 5 the best

[Dream Thief]

That's brilliant!

[Xzar]

http://www.nedumentary.co.uk/nedumentarypart1.html

[Sherry]

There's always one. This has got to be one of the
funniest things in a

long time. I think this guy should have been
promoted, not fired. This

is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which
was transcribed

from a recording monitoring the customer care
department. Needless to

say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she
is currently

suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination
without Cause".

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer
Support employee.

(Now I know why they record these conversations!):



Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I
help you?"



Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with
WordPerfect."



Operator: "What sort of trouble??"



Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a
sudden the words

went away."



Operator: "Went away?"



Caller: "They disappeared."



Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like
now?"



Caller: "Nothing."



Operator: "Nothing??"



Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I
type."



Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you
get out??"



Caller: "How do I tell?"



Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"



Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"



Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor
around the screen?"



Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't
accept anything

I type."



Operator: "Does your monitor have a power
indicator??"



Caller: "What's a monitor?"



Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that
looks like a TV.

Does it have a little light that tells you when it's
on??"



Caller: "I don't know."



Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor
and find where

the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"



Caller: "Yes, I think so."



Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and
tell me if it's

plugged into the wall.



Caller: "Yes, it is."



Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you
notice that there

were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just
one??"



Caller: "No."



Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back
there again and

find the other cable."



Caller: "Okay, here it is."



Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's
plugged securely into

the back of your computer."



Caller: "I can't reach."



Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"



Caller: "No."



Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on
something and lean way

over??"



Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right
angle - it's

because it's dark."



Operator: "Dark??"



Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only
light I have is

coming in from the window."



Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."



Caller: "I can't."



Operator: "No? Why not??"



Caller: "Because there's a power failure."



Operator: "A
power...................................... A power

failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you
still have the

boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer
came in??"



Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."



Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system
and pack it up

just like it was when you got it. Then take it back
to the store you

bought it from."



Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"



Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."



Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I
tell them??"



Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%king stupid to own
a computer!!!!!"

[Twaddlefish]

Awesome Sherry!

[Xzar]

It really was.

[Black Utopia]

that was ace!

[Ross]

I lawled all over the place. Had to clean it up after.