The Relationships Thread

[Delightful-Jim]

So, I signed up on OkCupid.. 31 messages sent, 3 replies. Fucksticks.

3 replies > 0 replies.

And if it doesn't work out, I'll take you for a coffee.

And take you back to my place for a "coffee"

[Littlemissmetal]

Now who could resist a proposition like that?

[Delightful-Jim]

I would never dream of saying that to some poor lass though. It'd be a bit much.


But Craig ain't a lass



Hahaha...

9 months single now. Still no fucks given

[peypea]

9 months? I'm going on nearly two years, and honestly, I don't really give a fuck. I'm having fun in my life, that's what matters. I don't really have any want for anyone else at the moment.

[Littlemissmetal]

I'm having fun in my life.

Key point QFT.

If you're having fun single, don't be in a hurry to change it (not aimed at either of you, just a general point.)

I can never understand why so many people seem to see being single as the root of all evil and think gaining a partner will magically fix everything.

[peypea]

Because they're actually kind of unhappy?

[Delightful-Jim]

Thats why no fucks were given. Some of my mates are depressed that they haven't found another one yet and they may have been single for a year or so now?


These people have their entire lives for that nonsense. There are better things to aspire to and look for.


As for me though, I'm just not boyfriend material right now. And very few people interest me in that sort of way anyway. So I am going to continue being awesome until I find someone that does interest me.


I can obviously see why people want to be in relationships, but I think having fun with good mates > anything else ever.

[Littlemissmetal]

Because they're actually kind of unhappy?

If that's the root of their unhappiness then fair enough, but I've seen a lot of people reconsider and find they're actually quite capable of being happy when they're single - as you've said you are.

It just seems to be some sort of gold standard to a lot and they assume everything wrong with their life stems from being single - it's not an illness, it's not a canchor, it doesn't mean by default there's something wrong with you.

I'm not being awful, I'm just commenting from experience of people I know or have met.

*shrug* there'll be plenty of examples out there to both back up and discount the idea.

[peypea]

Because they're actually kind of unhappy?

If that's the root of their unhappiness then fair enough, but I've seen a lot of people reconsider and find they're actually quite capable of being happy when they're single - as you've said you are.

It just seems to be some sort of gold standard to a lot and they assume everything wrong with their life stems from being single - it's not an illness, it's not a canchor, it doesn't mean by default there's something wrong with you.

I'm not being awful, I'm just commenting from experience of people I know or have met.

*shrug* there'll be plenty of examples out there to both back up and discount the idea.

Before I was incredibly unhappy, completely despised myself and thought I needed someone to be happy.
Then I did a shitload of work on myself and realised sometime this year that actually fuck it, I'm a decent human being and I actually like myself, and I don't need someone to be happy.
A lot of people (not all, obviously, can't generalise for everyone) use a significant other as a crutch or a coping mechanism for their unhappiness. They think it solves everything.

[Nantha]

I prefer you single Ania, means me and Myles can have you for cuddlin'

Personally, throughout most of my teenage years I usually had a boyfriend around, and felt unhappy when I didn't. I think that was mainly because I got bored/lonely by the gap that the previous relationship had made. I grew accustomed to being in a relationship and didn't really know what to do with myself when I wasn't

I know for a fact though that when me and my boyfriend break up, i'll plan to stay single for a while, and I'll be happy about it. I know I'm fully capable of getting on with life by myself.

[peypea]

We do make the best otters.

[Nantha]

Also, Hannah, don't take this the wrong way. Good advice, but I seem to remember you saying something about how you haven't been single, well, pretty much ever?

[Delightful-Jim]

When I was in a relationship, I was a lot more confident in myself, and I was a fair bit more adjusted. After though I've been the same guy. And that guy isn't a terribly pleasant character. Obviously being with some chick didn't fix that at all, it's down to the individual. So because I'm in the state I'm in this year, I think it's best not to bother with that sort of romantic bollox until I'm in a better place. More confident, more positive, self-sufficient, happier.


I do agree with you though Hannah. I'm just saying I'm not unhappy because I'm single, I'm single because I'm unhappy.

It's just a shame people don't learn that being in a relationship doesn't permanently fix all their personal ails for life.

[Littlemissmetal]

Also, Hannah, don't take this the wrong way. Good advice, but I seem to remember you saying something about how you haven't been single, well, pretty much ever?

Never for that long granted. It's not been because of a hatred of being single though, I've just met people very close together.

Also, I was seriously unhappy towards the end of both my previous relationships, so the periods of singledom (albeit they ended up being brief) were blessed relief.

[Slayer-ov-orcs]

I would dread going to a school reunion as I reckon a few of them will be grandparents.

Same and i'm only 19