The Relationships Thread

Put the world to rights here (off-topic discussion)
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Matty_the_Emo_Slayer
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby Matty_the_Emo_Slayer » Tue Oct 27, 2015 9:37 am

Send a dick pic, you'll know exactly where she stands after that.
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby Turbo » Tue Oct 27, 2015 11:41 am

Zoom isn't good enough on my phone.

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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby Moonburp » Tue Oct 27, 2015 2:09 pm

Turbo wrote:Zoom isn't good enough on my phone.

Doesn't have to be your dick tho

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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby Turbo » Tue Oct 27, 2015 2:17 pm

:lol: :lol:

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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby Jobdone » Tue Oct 27, 2015 6:06 pm

Turbo wrote:Anyway jokes aside the girl that sent me a message over whatsapp along the lines of go back to hers last Saturday is becoming increasingly hard to dislike. She bakes, is actually really funny at times and she's a nurse which I dunno that uniform shit that everyone raves over. I am not exactly sure how to approach the scenario. I just feel that I have read all the messages wrong and she's just friendly, thinks I am equally funny but at no point an interest of hers in that way.


That sounds nice man.

You should probably just keep hanging out and see where it goes you know.

For about 4 weeks. To earn her trust more.

Then you'll want to start sneaking nicotine patches onto her whenever you hang out so she subconsciously associates you with good feelings, and being away from you with withdrawal and bad feelings.

Keep this up for a while, but if she's really resistant to the whole thing, play on the nurse angle. Come up with a funny reason to hurt yourself like "I forgot to wrap my shirt round my hand when I punched through your window to let myself in while you were at work, can you give me some stitches? God I'm so drunk"

Now she'll probably say something silly that women do like "What the fuck why are you in my house" or "Please don't hurt me" or "Where's my dog" or just that incessant screaming, so you're gonna want to jab her in the throat. Not hard, just enough to wind her while she calms down.

Eventually she'll realise you are bleeding pretty heavily, and try give medical aid. This is where phase 1 comes into play, you slap the biggest nicotine patch you can find on her, and that rush of endorphines while she looks at this drunken bloody mess of a brummie will spark some "I can fix him" mentality, and you'll be right in there and with no obligation to change as a human being because it's on her to fix you.
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby Turbo » Tue Oct 27, 2015 6:10 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:


...and to think I was a bit worried about posting anything about my love life in this thread. No more!

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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby tranmerefan » Tue Oct 27, 2015 9:12 pm

:lol: :lol:

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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby Jobdone » Wed Oct 28, 2015 8:08 am

Turbo wrote::lol: :lol: :lol:


...and to think I was a bit worried about posting anything about my love life in this thread. No more!


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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby tranmerefan » Thu Oct 29, 2015 8:09 pm

Supposed to have a date yesterday but she wasn't feeling too well. I offered to re-arrange to the weekend to which she seemed grateful and would get first round in....



...she's been extremely quiet ever since.

Two silent rejections in a week. Still got it. 8) 8)
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby Turbo » Fri Oct 30, 2015 12:28 am

I did get another match on tinder. Turns out she was some kind of bot sending me links to pictures of her flaps. I was in love for a brief second but then I realised I am a gentleman and she cant be doing stuff like that until shes treated me to a Greggs steak bake. So now I sit here single and hungry.

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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby tranmerefan » Fri Oct 30, 2015 7:56 am

Turbo wrote:I did get another match on tinder. Turns out she was some kind of bot sending me links to pictures of her flaps. I was in love for a brief second but then I realised I am a gentleman and she cant be doing stuff like that until shes treated me to a Greggs steak bake. So now I sit here single and hungry.


:lol: :lol:

Quite rightly you did that. You're a perfect gentlemen. :yes:

The bots are getting more intelligent and harder to spot; which is why I go for the rule of thumb that match = bot. 8)

I've had a reply from a different girl on OKCupid which sums my week up;
It's pretty awesome yeah. Tbh though you're not really my type, but I hope you find what you're looking for. You seem sound so I don't think it'll take you long. :)


8) 8)
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby Turbo » Sun Nov 01, 2015 12:46 am

I told you about that rather pleasant girl in the local bar. Well I didn't dress up this evening because in dark alleys you really can't find anything scarier but she had a bit of a dig at me for not making an effort.


For some reason I gain her attention quite frequently. I was fucking rekt this evening. I was snapchatting up to 9 pints and then just gave up. The Turbo perished soon after.

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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby Matty_the_Emo_Slayer » Sun Nov 08, 2015 11:08 pm

Well been dumped. Grand though, was going to end it before Christmas anyway.
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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby Turbo » Mon Nov 09, 2015 6:30 pm

Hope you're ok mate.


Nothing to report here. Not said a word to the lady at the bar or the nurse, thought id mention that since I was quizzed about it on Saturday.

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Re: The Relationships Thread

Postby tranmerefan » Wed Nov 18, 2015 7:03 pm

Chatting to someone who plays Roller Derby on OKCupid. Got her to add me on facebook (which she has) and then she pretty much immediately deleted her account/blocked me on okcupid. Still chatting on Facebook obviously.

Seems a nice girl. Only downside is she lives in Coventry :lol: I'm probably suited to something more long distance tbf, I love my own space. We'll see what happens.
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