movies

[Kami]

Spent the last two days watching crazy Japanese horror, here's what I watched.

The Machine Girl
A classic Japanese revenge story about a one armed school girl with a minigun and chainsaw. From the opening five minutes I knew this was going to be an awesome film, and I wasn't wrong. Flying Guillotines, Self Cannibalism, Drill Bras and Ninjas this film really does have it all. The extreme cheese is just beaten by the extreme gore, just the way I like it.

Rating: 8 out of 10

Tokyo Gore Police
Absolutely fucking mental, it made 'The Machine Girl' look like Bambi. A film that really rivals Braindead in the fake blood stakes, and isn't ashamed of it. The adverts were a stroke of genuis, and the Police announcer reminded me of the woman from the Instructional Video in Battle Royale.
Not quite as good as 'The Machine Girl', but boy did it try.

Rating: 7 out of 10

The Girls Rebel Force Of Competitive Swimmers
Certainly not saving the best till last, what the fuck was this all about? I downloaded this film after hearing it mentioned alongside 'The Machine Girl' and 'Tokyo Gore Police', and really wondered why I bothered. It seemed to descend into Softcore porn more than it did Horror, completely lost count of home many times the main actress was topless for absolutely no reason. I'd be interested to see what the budget was for this, as I'd expect a better film from an ALevel Media group.

Rating: 3 out of 10 (Simply for having the audacity to exist)

[Darkweasel]

The Girls Rebel Force Of Competitive Swimmers
Certainly not saving the best till last, what the fuck was this all about? I downloaded this film after hearing it mentioned alongside 'The Machine Girl' and 'Tokyo Gore Police', and really wondered why I bothered. It seemed to descend into Softcore porn more than it did Horror, completely lost count of home many times the main actress was topless for absolutely no reason. I'd be interested to see what the budget was for this, as I'd expect a better film from an ALevel Media group.

Rating: 3 out of 10 (Simply for having the audacity to exist)

What are you talking about? The Girls Rebel Force of Competitive Swimmers is ace! Hot asian lesbians, gore and fanny lasers. What else could you possibly wish for?!

[andeh]

Saw Wolverine, liked it, thought some of the effects like on his claws looked a bit lousy and the script wasn't great but it was an enjoyable romp. Apparently there's a bit after the end of the credits but I missed that...

Also I'm going to bunk off on weds and watch Star Trek cos it looks epicz

Edit; Also looking forward to the Deadpool spin off that's in production now after Wolverine.

[clare-l]

Saw Star Trek again. It's still awesome.

[gumpy87]

The Girls Rebel Force Of Competitive Swimmers
Certainly not saving the best till last, what the fuck was this all about? I downloaded this film after hearing it mentioned alongside 'The Machine Girl' and 'Tokyo Gore Police', and really wondered why I bothered. It seemed to descend into Softcore porn more than it did Horror, completely lost count of home many times the main actress was topless for absolutely no reason. I'd be interested to see what the budget was for this, as I'd expect a better film from an ALevel Media group.

Rating: 3 out of 10 (Simply for having the audacity to exist)

What are you talking about? The Girls Rebel Force of Competitive Swimmers is ace! Hot asian lesbians, gore and fanny lasers. What else could you possibly wish for?!

The Girls Rebel Force Of Competitive Swimmers is great fun even if it is not as good as tokyo gore police

[Kami]

Funnily enough I was expecting a film Not this shit that was made by a horny 14 year old boy.

Any writers meeting must've gone along the lines of...

"Shall we have another scene with our terrible Zombies in it here?"
"No, just have a flashback where the Doctor plays the flute whilst his brother fucks the lead actress"
"Haha, yeah wooooooo titties."

[Darkweasel]

"Shall we have another scene with our terrible Zombies in it here?"
"No, just have a flashback where the Doctor plays the flute whilst his brother fucks the lead actress"
"Haha, yeah wooooooo titties."

You say that like it's a bad thing.

[Malefic]

Saw that new Star Trek, was pretty good, even if it was essentially just Star Wars

[The Warlord]

Saw Wolverine on Wednsday with my girlfriend we both enjoyed it but i had to explain a few things to her like she was confused she didn't realise that it tied in with X-2 and that old striker from that 1 and young striker from Wolverine were the same character lol.

On to the film it's self......(I'll try not to include Spoilers)

Good Points

Probably the Best intro into a film i have ever seen!

Some Great Action In it

Cameos from other Mutants for us Geeks lol

Deadpool

Gambit



Bad Points

Gambit and Deadpool arn't in it for that long

Cyclops looks like a pussy AGAIN

Sometimes the plot is hard to figure

All mutants seem to posses the ability to hop or fly now???




As i said we both enjoyed it and it's a good addition to the series (i like all 3 and actually thought the last stand was the best even though most people slate it). I don't see how an Origins on Deadpool would work as it's pretty much covered in Wolverine unless its what he does before the Assasins are created and just after. I was looking forward to the Magneto Origins but this has been pushed back to make way for the Deadpool one.

Other Origins films i'd like to see are........

Gambit (Maybe his early life then what happens after X-MO: Wolverine possibly involving Bishop, Xavier/Onslaught)
Beast
Nightcrawler
Cyclops (but theyd probably make him look a Pussy AGAIN) maybe incorporate his brother Havok
Iceman/Pyro

and Possibly a Jean Grey/Dark Pheonix Origins.


I Read a rumour that there might be an X-Men 4 coming out also that's set on the Days of Futures Past TV Episode which would incorporate Bishop, Prof X. Wolverine, Storm, Gambit, Rouge, Beast, Jean Grey, Jubilee, Forge, and the Sentinals, sounds pretty cool will have to keep an eye out!

[MetalBeast]

Saw Wolverine on Wednsday with my girlfriend we both enjoyed it but i had to explain a few things to her like she was confused she didn't realise that it tied in with X-2 and that old striker from that 1 and young striker from Wolverine were the same character lol.

Did you have to explain that Sabretooth in the Wolverine movie was meant to be the same character as Sabretooth in the first movie?





Pretty different really.

[The Warlord]

Lol yeah alot different. I didnt explain that i just thought she'd know lol.

The only reasoning i can think why so different is in Wolverine i don't think they call him Sabretooth once just Victor Creed. So between Wolverine and X Men Striker or one of his associates must have experimented on Creed turning him into Sabretooth, which ultimately made him not speak a bit hairy and a lil dumb.

[MetalBeast]

So between Wolverine and X Men Striker or one of his associates must have experimented on Creed turning him into Sabretooth, which ultimately made him not speak a bit hairy and a lil dumb.

I'm guessing the experiments probably involved DNA extracted from pro wrestlers of the 1980s.

[Darkweasel]

SLAUGHTER HIGH

Another old 1980's horror revisited...
This time we have the "High School prank played on the nerdy kid goes horribly wrong" storyline. Only done really, really badly.
From the gormless attempts at acting to the hilariously 1980s synthpop theme song to the fantastic scene where the character about to get April Fooled plants a big bottle labelled NITRIC ACID (without a cap, I might add) in huge letters on top of a very wobbly shelf, this film must have surely been seen as a comedy.
Unfortunately, I don't think anybody let the director in on that little secret as he seemed to try and make things as serious as possible. At least the actors seemed to treat it as a laugh (apart from the main character who apparently committed suicide shortly after it was released) and most bizarrely it features among it's US cast the bloke who played the barman (Terry?) in Emmerdale!
He does a f**king terrible American accent btw.
Caroline Munro is the one bright spark in this dim affair, but even she was nearly thirty when filming this and we are expected to believe she's a high school girl!!
At least the gore effects are pretty decent, with a lovely, soothing acid bath and exploding stomach being among the highlights.

4/10

[The Warlord]

Maybe they could make X-Men Origins: Sabretooth and show the metal years of his life!

[Lick Mars]

Saw Star Trek last night, it was really good. Glad it was like the Star Trek I know and used to watch, not all that crap theyre forever showing on sky and that other crappy star trek film I attempted to watch